Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is poignant. ARE YOU AN AVOIDANT? I think I’m an avoidant. Because, I know I don’t take criticism very kindly. I don’t like it when someone tells me I’m wrong.

Basically, I have the type of personality that I have to be right all the time and I freely admit it. Just ask my ex-husband. But I am working on that along with a lot of other things.

When I was growing up, I felt very insecure about myself because of the bullying all throughout school. All I would get was criticism and nothing else. As a result, I never had any self- confidence.

So now, if someone crtiticizes me (whether it’s constructive or not) I take offense to it. Even if they’re joking, I don’t like it.

The avoidant personality disorder definition (AVPD) is a mental health condition that involves chronic feelings of inadequacy and extreme sensitivity to criticism.

People with AVPD would like to interact with others, but they tend to avoid social interactions due to their intense fear of rejection.

Avoidant Personality Disorder Trait

What are the 7 traits of avoidant personality disorder?

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is symbolic of society. Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD) is characterized by a variety of traits and behaviors. Here are seven common traits associated with this disorder:

1. Extreme Sensitivity to Criticism: At length, individuals often have a heightened sensitivity to negative evaluations and may feel easily hurt by criticism or rejection.
2. Social Withdrawal: People with AVPD tend to avoid social situations and interactions due to fear of embarrassment or rejection, leading to isolation.
3. Feelings of Inadequacy: At the same time, they often perceive themselves as inferior or unworthy, which can contribute to low self-esteem and self-doubt.
4. Fear of Intimacy: There is a strong fear of forming close relationships due to worries about being rejected or humiliated.
5. Avoidance of New Activities: Equally, individuals may avoid new experiences or challenges, fearing they will not measure up or will be judged negatively.
6. Self-Deprecation: They may engage in negative self-talk and hold a pessimistic view of themselves, often feeling that they do not deserve happiness or success.
7. Reluctance to Take Risks: Due to their fear of failure or embarrassment, individuals with AVPD may be hesitant to take risks or try new things, both personally and professionally.

These traits can significantly impact daily functioning and relationships, making it important for individuals experiencing these symptoms to seek support and treatment.

What Types of Avoidant Personalities Are There?

Avoidant personality traits can manifest in various ways, and while there isn’t a strict classification system, some common types or manifestations of avoidant personalities include:

• Socially Avoidant: Undoubtedly, individuals may experience intense anxiety in social situations, leading them to avoid gatherings, parties, or any scenario where they might have to interact with others.
• Emotionally Avoidant: These individuals may struggle with expressing their emotions or forming close relationships. Especially, they often keep others at a distance to avoid vulnerability.
• Workplace Avoidant: Some may avoid taking on new challenges or responsibilities at work due to fear of failure or criticism, leading to missed opportunities for growth and advancement.
• Relationship Avoidant: These individuals might have difficulty committing to romantic relationships, fearing intimacy or potential rejection, which can lead to patterns of dating avoidance.
• Perfectionist Avoidant: This type may set extremely high standards for themselves, leading to avoidance of tasks or situations where they fear they might not meet those standards.
• Fearful-Avoidant: At any rate, this type often experiences a combination of anxiety and avoidance, leading to a push-pull dynamic in relationships where they desire closeness but fear it simultaneously.

While these categories can help in understanding avoidant behaviors, it’s important to recognize that each individual is unique and may exhibit a combination of these traits.

Avoidant Attachment Causes

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is needed to learn the causes.

Indeed, avoidant attachment style is often caused by early childhood experiences with emotionally unavailable or distant caregivers.

These experiences can include:

• Emotional neglect: By and large, parents who are unresponsive, don’t show empathy, or are severely depressed or antisocial
• Physical neglect: Parents who don’t meet physical needs like hunger, safety, or touch
• Emotional unavailability: Even more, parents who don’t provide compassion, affection, or respect boundaries
• Discouragement: Parents who discourage children from expressing emotions or crying
• Trauma: Finally, parents who are hostile or insensitive, or who are misattuned to their child’s needs 

Avoidant Personality Disorder Symptoms

People with personality disorders find it hard to change their behaviour or adapt to different situations. Therefore, you may have trouble forming positive relationships with others or keeping a job.

For an AVPD diagnosis you need 4 or more of the symptoms listed below:

• Firstly, you avoid meeting other people’s gaze or talking with someone who has a strong personality.
• You have trouble making friends and keeping them.
• Social inhibition
• Fourthly, you don’t like to be the center of attention.
• Feelings of inadequacy
• Extreme sensitivity to criticism or rejection
• Additionally, preoccupation with being criticized or rejected
• Reluctance to become involved with people unless they are confident of being liked.
• Restricted range of expression of emotions
• Lastly, you often feel like others are judging you negatively, even if they aren’t

Many people have some of these traits but are still able to function normally. These people do not have a personality disorder.

A person living with avoidant personality disorder may also display the symptoms of:

• Firstly, Anxiety disorders
• Panic disorders
• Agoraphobia
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder
• Additionally, Schizophrenia
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Dependent personality disorder
• Self-harm
• Depression
• Lastly, Substance use disorders

It’s a good idea to understand what your diagnosis means and how it can be treated.

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is needed when diagnosed.

The first step in diagnosing avoidant personality disorder is asking yourself whether or not the following descriptions fit.

If they do, there’s a pretty good chance that you have avoidant personality disorder:

• Firstly, You find it hard to make friends or keep them around for very long.
• You feel like people are unfriendly, even when they’re not.
• You feel like people don’t like you for no reason, even if they tell you otherwise.
• Fourthly, You think others are more qualified or smarter than you are, even though this isn’t true.
• You don’t mind being alone most of the time. Therefore, it makes you feel safe from judgmental eyes that might see through your façade if there were too many people around who knew who you were (which would make them know that you aren’t as perfect as everyone thinks).

AVPD Treatment

The common avoidant personality disorder treatment methods include:

Psychodynamic psychotherapy

This therapy is a form of talk therapy. Nonetheless, psychodynamic psychotherapy helps the patient to understand how their past experiences drive their current behavior.

This ultimately allows the patient to make peace with the emotional pains and conflicts of the past in order to move forward with a healthier outlook toward life.

Overall, both outpatient and residential treatment programs can both be effective against avoidant personality disorder.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Meanwhile, this therapy involves helping the patient to evaluate and understand the negative thoughts and patterns that trigger unwanted behavior.

The negative thoughts and patterns are altered with positive ones to derive a positive outcome.

Hence, this therapy also helps to develop coping strategies to manage the symptoms.

Schema therapy

This therapy is an advanced form of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Likewise, the key feature of this therapy is “limited reparenting” which allows the patient to express their childhood needs and learn how to develop and internalize a healthy parent voice.

Medications

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is important medication wise. Most doctors think medications is generally not helpful for avoidant personality disorder.

However, clinical recommendations exist for using pharmacotherapeutic approaches in avoidant personality disorder treatment.

For instance, antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication can be helpful in improving moods and decreasing anxiety symptoms.

Also, reduce sensitivity towards rejection in people trying to recover from avoidant personality disorder.

Coping With Avoidant Personality Disorder

Henceforth, many people with avoidant personality disorder may become isolated, and this can significantly impact their physical and emotional wellness.

Professional support can help people with AVPD cope with these difficult feelings and social challenges.

However, certain complementary treatment options and self-care practices can help sufferers manage their symptoms.

Also, avoid their turning to harmful coping mechanisms like alcohol or drugs, smoking, overeating, or self-harm.

Consider the following measures for coping with avoidant personality disorder:

• Firstly, Practicing mindfulness techniques
• Practicing meditation and yoga
• Thirdly, Engaging in healthy habits like journaling, participating in art sessions, etc.
• Having a regular sleep schedule
• Eating a healthy diet
• Lastly, Availing treatment options like biofeedback, acupuncture, art therapy, etc.

Avoidant Personality and Relationships

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is needed for relationships.

As adults, people with avoidant attachment may have difficulty with intimacy and close relationships. They may:

• Firstly, have trouble sharing emotions, thoughts, or feelings
• Experience minimal stress when a relationship ends
• Have difficulty committing to long-term relationships
• Fourthly, fear getting too close to others
• Feel they need to be independent
• Maintain distance from their partners
• Lastly, be emotionally unavailable in their relationships 

Living with and loving someone suffering from AVPD can be highly challenging.

Nevertheless, people with AVPD find it extremely difficult to open up to emotional vulnerabilities, companionships, and friendships.

Their fear of rejection or judgment in intimate relationships makes them restrained and inhibited in interpersonal situations.

Hence, they often question trust, commitment, and loyalty. They have a hard time expressing their emotions and handling criticism (even positive feedback from their romantic partners).

Notwithstanding, such dysfunctional thought and behavior patterns contribute to shallow, unfulfilling, and unsuccessful relationships.

This further makes them feel alone, isolated, and misunderstood. They become more self-conscious and self-critical of their flaws and develop symptoms of depression, stress, etc.

Moreover, the romantic partners of people suffering from AvPD may also feel neglected, helpless, and frustrated.

In most cases, they feel underappreciated, socially unfulfilled, and conflicted in their relationships.

This negatively impacts the quality and level of emotional intimacy in a romantic relationship.

How do avoidants act when they like someone?

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is important in forming relationships.

People with an avoidant attachment style may have a difficult time expressing their feelings and emotions in relationships, and may be uncomfortable with emotional closeness. 

They may also have a hard time trusting and relying on others, and may prefer to maintain boundaries. When they like someone, they may act in the following ways:

Cherish quality time or physical touch

Particularly, these forms of affection may require less verbal expression, but can still establish appreciation

Be attracted to anxious partners

The need for closeness from anxious partners can reinforce an avoidant person’s need for independence and self-reliance

Use suppression techniques

In addition, these techniques can include shutting down, numbing, and compartmentalizing, which can feel like rejection to their partners 

Is avoidant personality like a person with narcissistic personality disorder?

No, not everyone with an avoidant attachment style is a narcissist, but they can have some similarities:

Similarities

Both may have a history of abandonment by caregivers, struggle with self-esteem, and have different personalities in public and in private. 

They may also seek close relationships to satisfy their needs, rather than seeking closeness and intimacy.

Differences

Avoidant attachment is an attachment style, while narcissistic personality disorder is a personality disorder. 

Given that, avoidant people may pull away from others to protect themselves, isolate, be dismissive, or move away from relationships. 

They may also fear rejection and avoid social interactions. Narcissists, on the other hand, may pull away to gain power and control over others, and thrive on conflict. 

They may also see themselves as superior to others. 

Sum It All Up

Shattering the silence: awareness of avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is important for self-preservation.

Well, at least I know I’m not a narcissist. Growing up, I felt like everyone was abandoning me.

So-called friends left, relationships petered-out, and my family was dysfunctional.

It wasn’t so much during my early years, but during my teens. Hence, I had conflicts with my mother who wasn’t incoherent most of the time. My dad was working. My brother moved out.

In essence, I felt like I was all alone to deal with my mother and that wasn’t fair. I developed a lot of issues during that time that are still with me today and probably always will be.

In fact, I entered into a marriage that was one-sided (not on my side), which ,of course, ended in divorce. I think at this point in my life, I’d just would rather be alone. I’ve had enough depressing situations. But, I am happy now, so… Until next time…

Articles About Avoidant Personality Disorder

-Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD) Test

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/avoidant-personality-disorder-test

-Avoidant Personality Disorder

https://www.sheppardpratt.org/knowledge-center/condition/avoidant-personality-disorder/#:~:text=A%20number%20of%20experiences%20and,Childhood%20abuse%2C%20trauma%2C%20or%20neglect

-Avoidant Personality Disorder: Symptoms and Treatment

https://www.verywellmind.com/avoidant-personality-disorder-4172959#:~:text=How%20Serious%20Is%20Avoidant%20Personality%20Disorder%3F&text=People%20with%20the%20condition%20may,problems%20with%20work%20and%20school.

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy, One Voice In The Vastness Of Emotions

“I wanted to kill someone and I wanted to die and I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could because she was never coming back. She had fallen off the face of the earth and she was never coming back.”-Melissa Kantor, Maybe One Day

“When I was supposed to be awake, I was asleep. Hence, When I was supposed to sleep, I was silent. When a pleasure offered itself to me, I avoided it.”-Susanna Kaysen

“Take avoidance to an extreme, and you have denial: a deep burial of the trauma.”–Shaili Jain

“The attempt to avoid legitimate suffering lies at the root of all emotional illness.”–M. Scott Peck

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