Defiant Like a Match to Gasoline

Defiant against rapidly losing my memory and thought process. What would you do, have sanity, or lose your thought process. I’m on a med that is rapidly ravaging my brain, and won’t stop until I’m a vegetable. On the other hand, it is keeping me from having delusions. The question, would I rather be sane or a vegetable?

I am defiant against becoming a vegetable, so that’s why I keep writing these posts. It keeps my brain from turning into mush. This med has already taken my ability to work because of movements (tardive dyskinesia).

Being defiant isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can turn you into a fighter against a battle you’re not sure you could win, but you fight nonetheless. These posts help me express my thoughts even though I sometimes get lost in space.

“Be yourself, don’t take anything from anyone, and never let them take you alive.” ― Gerard Way

Defiant definition

The defiant definition is an adjective that describes someone or something openly and boldly resisting authority, rules, or opposition. It often implies a refusal to submit even when faced with overwhelming odds or consequences.

For me, it’s the latter part. Facing overwhelming odds or consequences. Being defiant isn’t necessarily a bad thing in the right context. If you wish to overcome suppression, being defiant is a wonderful thing.

My defiancy is my refusal to give into the ramifications of meds. I defy any doctor that tells me just live with it. That’s what I’m hearing now. If they are ever put in this position, will they just live with it!

Defiant synonyms

Here are some prominent synonyms for defiant. They represent how people handle their problems in different ways.

Headstrong

It is either obstinate or headstrong. Headstrong means you know what you want and you go after it. Sometimes with a little too much flare, but that depends on the person. Some might even call you a bully because you are so determined in getting your way.

There are some people that it is either their way or the highway. I used to be like that, until I realized I was hurting the ones I love with that thinking. My ex-husband helped me to see how I was hurting him by that way of thinking.

Being defiant by having a strong hold on your beliefs is a good way to ensure you get your problems worked out. I believe your core beliefs are worth fighting for, but not to the point where you’re beating a dead horse to death. There is a point when you should step back and survey the situation at hand.

Fierce

Fierce describes someone who goes full force into the battlefield. They have no fear. Whatever they believe in, nobody is going to tell them any different. You might say they are headstrong. Their convictions are solid, and they push full steam ahead to obtain those convictions.

Some might say they don’t make any consessions when setting their path. Nobody is going to stand in their way, and if they try to, they’re going to regret it. They have a single path to push those that try to stop them out of the way by any means possible.

I never considered myself fierce because I’ll admit it, I’m a coward in some respects. Majority of my life, I backed down from fights and went and hid in the corner crying. As I got older that changed to a certain degree. I’ll fight for my convictions if I truely believe I am right.

Obstinate

Obstinate describes someone who believes they are right even though they are wrong. You can’t tell them otherwise. Reminds me of a bully which I dealt with all throughout school. To me defiant and obstinate are different in several ways.

If you’re being defiant, you’re doing so in a way to bring about resolution. Being obstinate means you don’t care about anyone else’s feelings but your own. If you run into an obstinate person, they don’t care what you have to say. They’re right and that’s that.

Unfortunately, being obstinate gives off negative vibes. They’re not willing to meet you half way to come to a resolution. Many of us know someone who is obstinate and difficult to deal with, so we try to avoid them.

“It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.”― Emiliano Zapata

Stubborn

Stubborn perfectly describes me. I’m a stubborn German. Being stubborn means you have your convictions, but are willing to accept new ideas. You may resist at first, but listen intently, and may change your mind.

Being stubborn is better than the other three synonyms for defiant. You put your point out there, then listen to opposing arguements. Sometimes you stick to your morals, but then again, you may see someone else’s point of view and change your thought process.

Stubborn people are the funniest people because they may put up an obstinate defense, but cave into reasoning by a totally new view that is not their own.

What is defiant syndrome?

I think it’s important to talk about defiant syndrome, also called Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). It is a clinical condition characterized by persistent and ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures. It typically emerges in childhood but can affect adults, significantly disrupting daily functioning.

Core symptoms

For a diagnosis, these disruptive behaviors must last for at least six months and go beyond typical childhood rebellion. Sympoms generally fall into three main categories:

Angry/Irritable Mood: Frequent temper tantrums, being easily annoyed by others, and deep resentment.
Argumentative/Difiant Behavior: Willful refusal to follow rules, arguing with adults, deliberately annoying others, and blaming others for personal mistakes.
Vindictiveness: Being spiteful or seeking revenge (I believe a certain President is like this).

For information on diagnostic criteria and therapeutic interventions, you can explore the Mayo Clinic Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Overview or the John Hopkins Medicine ODD Guide.

Is being defiant a mental disorder?

A defiant person doesn’t automatically constitute them as having a mental disorder. Yes Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a mental illness that needs to be addressed, but being defiant is a human reaction in order to assert oneself.

I’m defiant in stopping the destruction of my brain because I choose to fight it. So, I’m doing everything possible to prevent that. I’m trying to engage my brain with doing these posts, doing written puzzles, and not let my memory get any worse.

Having other mental disorders can cause you to question yourself about medications. Are they really worth the side effects that come with them? Sometimes the side effects are worse than the diagnoses.

How to deal with a defiant teenager

I used to be one of those defiant teenagers. I was diagnosed with depression when I was sixteen, and of course put on meds right away. Hence, I think that screwed up my brain more than anything else.

I rebelled against my mother because she is the one who took me to those doctor visits. I felt like I was being poisoned, and made sure she knew it. So, I was defiant because I was never asked how I felt about it.

Dealing with defiant teenager

I believe you should engage with the teenager about how they feel about the situaion. Do they think meds will help, and always be informed of the side effects. Going into it blind can cause serious consequences (like with me). Parents, give your teenager a chance to speak because this is their body, and what they’re putting into it matters to them.

If the teenager is beligerent and incoherent, then it’s time to make decisions for them. Don’t exclude them out of the decisions if they are defiant. They are trying to tell you something, but don’t know how to express it any other way.

Most of my teenage years was spent being doped up on meds not knowing which direction I was heading in. I’m surprised I even graduated school. I don’t even remember most of high school.

So, the point is, listen to your teenager if their being defiant. They may be trying to tell you something and you’re not listening. Listen to them, don’t judge them.

“If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.”― Robert A. Heinlein

Conclusion

A defiant nature can tell you something important about that person. You just have to listen. Over the years, I’ve learned to advocate for myself. Now, I have the decision of stopping a med and having delusions, or continue it and lose my thought process due to memory loss.

Days tick by at lightening speed, and so are my memories. The most important aspect of this post is research about side effects on meds. Some side effects are rare but they can happen to you.

Defiant expression is the choice we make when asserting our opinion on a subject. It’s not always in a bad sense. But remember, listen to others and their opinions. You just might learn a thing or two.

Cindee Murphy
“One voice being defiant against side effects of a med.”