The signals of depression in teens parents should know. I remember being a teenager and dealing with depression. No teenager should deal with mental illness at that age. I was already an outcast from my peers, so this made it even worse. I felt this heaviness that I couldn’t handle what was going on inside my mind. Everything was in black and white.
Either I was seeing the world as a dark place, or there were little glimpses of hope. Most of it was negative. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. I was in a void that constantly kept me there. The glimpses of hope were through the few friends I had. They made life somewhat bearable.
I had this one friend who used to joke around, the way I used to be. I was very witty in my early years, even as a child. She was the one to make me laugh, even when I thought it wasn’t possible anymore. Speaking from personal experience, here are some signs of depression in teens, even those that aren’t quite noticeable.
Social Withdrawal
Social withdrawal is a big telltale sign of depression in teens. They don’t like hanging out with their friends anymore. Sometimes they just stay in their room most of the time. I had a TV in my room, so I just sat in there staring blankly at the screen. Although, I should have been out having fun with my friends, but I just didn’t have the energy to do so.
I isolated from my family also. So, I quit communicating, it was just too hard. My brain hurt trying to think of things to say. Hence, I knew these feelings weren’t right, but I felt unable to stop them. Funny thing with depression, it zaps all your energy and then some. There’s nothing left.
Remember that little glimpse of hope I talked about, it saved my life. Although I went through years of depression and many medications, that hope is what kept me going even when I didn’t feel like it. One day, I had had enough, and grasped onto that hope with what strength I had left. Fast forward to today, I’m depression free. I believe every person has this glimmer of hope, and in times of need, should grasp onto it to change their life.
Low Self-Esteem
The signals of depression in teens parents should know. Low self-esteem was a big red flag for me. The bullying destroyed that. Whenever I tried to communicate with them, they told me to shut up and a few other remarks. Therefore, I was left with self-defeat. I would sabotage myself even before I began thinking I wasn’t good enough.
You know, if they say you could go back in time and change or say something to yourself, what would it be? I would tell myself that “you may go through hard times for a while, but in the end, you will be alright.” I’m in a good place now. I have resilience in myself that I recently discovered, which I didn’t know back then.
So, teens with no self-esteem, you have hidden qualities that don’t show up until years later, but they have always been there. You will grow into a strong human being when you grasp onto that hope inside of you.
Hopelessness in Teenagers
Hopelessness in teenagers is not how you want to start your life with. You can quickly spiral into a tornado with cataclysmic consequences. The same goes with the feelings of worthlessness. Feeling worthless, like you’re the “scum of the earth,” “you can’t do anything right.” Negative thoughts are persuasive, but can also be easily dismissed. Ignore them, or replace it with a positive thought. That’s another way I dug myself out of that hole of despair I was in.
Getting back to hopelessness, you feel like nothing will ever get better. Ahhh, but it does when you stop listening to the negative side of your mind. Your mind is what gets you in trouble. Again, reframing the thoughts from negative to positive. Teens, you’ll be surprised at how quickly this strategy works. It’s a powerful tool.
Suicidal Thoughts
I was a little bit reluctant to add this in here, but teens experience it. So here goes. Suicidal thoughts are not normal in teens without depression. Right? When you have depression, if you’re in such a spot of loneliness, hopelessness, and worthlessness, it can happen. It’s scary to think your teen is experiencing this, but with good communication, it can be discussed openly.
I went through self-harm behaviors in my teens. At that time, self-harm was the only outlet for the physical pain to mask the emotional pain. So, I would do it more and more, because I couldn’t take the emotional turmoil I was feeling. I did it for years.
What made me stop? I met my second husband. He didn’t know about the self harming, and I never told him. He made me feel like I was a person other than a person with mental illnesses. Slowly, my unique characteristics about myself began to come out. I felt alive again. I was still skittish because of the anxiety, but everyday I was getting better and better. Although, I took a turn for the drastically worse, which almost ended my life. I swore from that day on, I would never let myself ever get that low again.
Isolating From Family
The signals of depression in teens parents should know. I mentioned this earlier about isolating from family. Teenagers think family members won’t leave them alone when they’re just trying to help. They feel like you’re trying to dictate their life. They find you intrusive. I always felt like my mother was trying to live her childhood life through me. Things that she never got to do, she forced me to do.
Not wanting to go to family gatherings is another sign. What once was jovial and fun being around family is now overwhelming, and you try to get as far away as possible. They embody all the things that you don’t feel anymore. It’s somewhere lost inside of you.
Some family members may take it personally, but that’s what it’s not intended to be. Your teenager is just trying to protect themselves. So, how do you get your teenager to talk to you? The greatest gift is patience. It’s not going to happen immediately, but gradually they will confide in you if you have the truest intentions.
Persistent Sadness
Persistent sadness is also a telltale sign your teenager is depressed. They don’t enjoy activities like they used to. I got stuck in this vortex that everything wasn’t worth my attention. I wouldn’t enjoy it, so why bother. That sadness continued to take over a good portion of my life.
Once you figure out the why of the sadness, everything comes into perspective. It could be genetic, trauma, or something that really shook them to the core. Whatever the why, once they figure that out, it opens up the floodgates. The key is to observe every emotion as it comes, so they can learn and grow from them.
I had some interjections of happiness through that sadness. Not everyday was bad, but like most, I tend to clump things together and focus on the negative. I got married and moved into a nice townhouse. But, negativity came back, and everything fell apart. Hence, another plunge into sadness. It feels like riding a rollercoaster.
Loss of Interest in Activities
The signals of depression in teens parents should know. Loss of interest in activities goes along with sadness. Your teen may just lose interest in things they once enjoyed. Whether that be in sports, music, or in school itself. They may quit a sports team they’re on, because they just don’t care anymore. They may stop practicing their instrument, or even drop it completely. And their grades may start to slip as they lose motivation for school. This is a common sign of depression in teenagers.
It’s important to recognize these changes in your teen’s behavior and try to address them early on. Encourage them to continue with activities they used to enjoy, find new hobbies or interests they might be passionate about, and provide support and understanding that can help them regain a sense of purpose and enjoyment in life.
It’s important for parents to understand that depression is not just a passing phase or something that can be easily overcome by willpower alone. It is a serious mental illness that requires understanding, support, and proper treatment.
Increased Sensitivity to Criticism
I remember this too vividly. The criticism would bounce off me, then it started to sting like needles. I couldn’t even take constructive criticism. Everything seemed like it was supposed to hurt me intentionally. Sometimes, you just feel like everyone is out to get you. They’re trying to piss you off.
That’s just your brain perceiving it that way. Criticism, done in the right way, can be good for you. But with depression, criticism is the enemy, no matter how it comes at you. You believe it is there to hurt you, and nothing else.
They have to work through the depression to see that not all is bad. It can be hard to see the good when you’re in the midst of a depressive episode, but it’s important to keep pushing through and not give up. Sometimes, just taking small steps and focusing on self-care can make a huge difference.
Sum It All Up
The signals of depression in teens parents should know. In other words, parents don’t think it’s just a phase they’re going through. They need your strength and understanding to overcome depression. It may take medication and counseling to help them through it, but that’s not a bad thing. Counseling will help them through the tough days. When I went through it, every person I turned to for help walked away from me. I felt like I was unlovable.
I believe that;s why it took me so long to figure it out on my own. The doctors didn’t help, they just pumped me with meds with nasty side effects. The therapists weren’t much better. Don’t get me wrong, there are good doctors and therapists out there, you just have to dig.
So, if you see these signs of depression in your teenager, help them get help. It’s not going to go away on its own. They need your support more than ever. Peace be with you, and always love. Until next time…
Articles About Signs of Depression in Teens
Depression in Teens and Children
Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression
3 Severe Depression Symptoms In Teenagers That You Don’t Want To Ignore
Have a Good One,
Cindee Murphy
“One voice speaking the truth about teen depression”
“What people never understand is that depression isn’t about the outside; it’s about the inside.” – Jasmine Warga
“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” – Ned Vizzini
“No one is brave all the time. Allow yourself to feel, heal, and rebuild.” – Unknown
“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” – John Green
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