When the world feels heavy: confronting loneliness and despair, one moment at a time. I once remember the feeling of lonely and depressed (or despair). I was sucked into that vortex when I was 16. Every person I asked for help from walked away from me. So, I was left to deal with a lot of emotions by myself for many years. I will say one thing, I believe I made it through a little tarnished, but still in tact.
There were some days I didn’t think I was going to make it. I started to withdraw from everyone. Some days, I didn’t want to make it. But I kept working at it, chipping away at the depression and loneliness, until I saw a glimmer of light. So, I started working harder and harder, until I found the source of that light, it was me in the future. Hence, I gave myself hope and told myself everything was going to be alright.
I Feel Sad and Alone
“I feel sad and alone”, I kept telling myself back then. But I was never truly alone, God was always with me. I realize that now. All the heartaches and despair were to build me up to be a stronger person that I am today. Sometimes you have to go through hard times to make you more resilient in the future.
Life is always about lessens. They teach you how to prepare for the future. Some lessens you don’t think you’re going to make it through, but then He lends a helping hand. You are filled with knowledge that shows you the way across that unsteady bridge. Once you make it to the other side, you’re free from what was dragging you down (depression and loneliness).
Loneliness Symptoms
When the world feels heavy: confronting loneliness and despair by knowing the symptoms. Loneliness can manifest in various ways, affecting both mental and physical well-being. Here are some common symptoms:
- Emotional Symptoms:
- Feelings of sadness or emptiness
- Increased anxiety or stress
- Low self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness
- Irritability or mood swings
- Behavioral Symptoms:
- Withdrawal from social activities or relationships
- Reduced participation in hobbies or interests
- Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or oversleeping)
- Changes in appetite (overeating or loss of appetite)
- Cognitive Symptoms:
- Difficulty concentrating or focusing
- Negative thought patterns or excessive rumination
- Feelings of hopelessness or despair
- Physical Symptoms:
- Fatigue or low energy
- Increased susceptibility to illness
- Physical aches or pains without a clear cause
- Social Symptoms:
- Feeling disconnected from others or feeling that no one understands you
- A sense of longing for companionship or meaningful relationships
- Difficulty forming new connections or maintaining existing ones
Loneliness symptoms sometimes coinside with depression symptoms, so it might be hard to tell them apart. If you’re feeling any of these symptoms, please talk to someone about them.
Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety
Having loneliness, depression, and anxiety is a disaster. Your moods are all over the place. The anxiety for me came late in the game-about ten years ago. I can see it now, but I had developed social anxiety when I met my second husband. I was afraid to go anywhere there were, well people. Because, I felt like everyone watched me.
We went to the Shed Aquarium one time, and I was totally petrified. I was trying to act like I was enjoying myself, but I was a scared little kid inside. I’ve been slowly coming out of my shell and spending a certain amount of time in stores. The trick is, when times up, it’s up, and you better head towards the exit or a panic attack will come on. Gradually, I’ve been extending the time limit a few minutes each time (it’s called exposure therapy).
I’m Loneliness
I’m loneliness, that’s how I defined myself. Or you greet someone, “hi, I’m loneliness.” You get my point. I had been that way for so long that it was part of my identity. How do you get over loneliness? I mean, you could be with someone and still feel lonely. I began by believing in my self-worth. Therefore, I am somebody and I’m worthwhile. Get reacquainted with yourself again. Sounds corny, but it works.
I have to say, it wasn’t easy to get to the point where I’m at today. Self-reflection is another part to look at. What do you want people to see when they look at you? An insecure person or someone boasting with self-confidence. I hope you chose the second one.
Once you secure these traits, you’re working on the “I’m loneliness” part. You won’t feel so all alone in this great big world. There are others like you. But also remember, you are unique. There is no other person on this planet like you.
Solitude and Emptiness
When the world feels heavy: confronting loneliness and despair with the feeling of emptiness. When I was in solitude, I was content. Then emptiness started creeping in. It wasn’t a sudden feeling, but rather a slow and gradual realization that I was all alone. I didn’t want to be anymore. So guess what, I did something about it! Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have all the answers back then. It was trial and error. Just like all the today’s. My life for the longest time was doom and gloom. I was wallowing in self-pity, digging deeper into despair.
I became tired of the pity party and felt like sh*t. Therefore, I wanted something so much better than what my life had become at this point. So, I started small, I tried to stay out of the bed for as much time as possible. Then, I began to work on hygiene everyday, which felt good, I might add. And then everything else began falling into place. It took me several years, but I did it.
Anxiety and Fatigue
You normally don’t associate fatigue with anxiety, but you become worn down at some point. Something has to give. And then you sleep until the next bout of anxiety. I associate fatigue with depression, like most people. Fatigue makes itself a home when the depression starts.
Anxiety will keep you going, even though you don’t have any juice left. I remember pulling all-nighters when my brain wouldn’t shut off. I just wanted to flip the nonexistent “off” switch and be done with it. Although, I’m pulling all-nighters again but because of Parkinson’s. But, I still try to remain optimistic even through the rough times. I’ve been on the other side and didn’t like it.
Hopelessness
Hopelessness…I’ve been there quite a few times. So much that I didn’t care to live. My wake-up call was my last attempt. I didn’t want to continue living my life like that anymore. It was like riding on an emotional rollercoaster. I wanted off of it. So, I made a promise with myself. My life was going to be better, and no more tempting fate.
I slowly started to emotionally heal, no matter what life threw at me. I lost everything after that attempt, but I still had me, and that is the most important thing. Life goes on if you wish it to.
So, hopelessness can be turned around and turned into something positive. If you believe wholeheartedly enough in yourself, hopelessness doesn’t have a chance. As I said earlier, you have to find that glimmer of light and turn it into a big spotlight on your life.
Living Alone Depression
When the world feels heavy: confronting loneliness and despair when you’re living alone. Me personally, I like living alone with my furry animals. I plan on doing that again. But, it is difficult when you have depression. I believe the depression is stronger when you live alone. You don’t have someone telling you to get out of bed. When I lived by myself and the depression was with me, I lost track of days and weeks. They were all a blur. I don’t even think I ate much.
How did I turn that around, you ask? In essence, I tried going to different therapy groups, so I could be around people. I even attended Weight Watcher’s meetings. I also joined a gym, but I hardly went there. Hence, I found solutions to be around people, so I wouldn’t feel so alone. You have to be resourceful and come up with ideas that are right for you.
Sum It All Up
When the world feels heavy: confronting loneliness and despair one emotion at a time. Depression and loneliness can be damaging, but only if you let it. My favorite words to live by, “only if you let it.” Never in a million years would I have thought I could have accomplished as much as I have from the point where I was years ago. I surprised myself.
I remember years ago, staring out the kitchen window wondering what my life would be like in the future. Would I be forever staring out the windows with an absent mind of not caring enough about the future? At the time, I needed a sense of purpose, but didn’t have one. Everything seemed so meaningless. But, there was that glimmer of hope that I clung onto. Fast forward to today, that light is my sun shining brightly. Peace and always love. Until next time…
Articles About Loneliness and Depression
5 Common Pitfalls That Make Major Depressive Disorder Worse
Loneliness and Depression: What’s the Connection?
Depression and Loneliness: How to Tell the Difference
Have a Good One,
Cindee Murphy
“One Voice Feeling Sad And Lonely”
“It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling — that really hollowed-out feeling.”— J.K. Rowling
“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”― Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story
“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end.”― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss
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