Who would have ever thought that you could have a phobia of speaking on the phone! Although, phone phobia is real. I should know because I experience it everyday. Phone anxiety refers to the fear of making or answering phone calls (also known as telephobia). Accordingly, it is a common fear among those with social anxiety disorder (SAD).

Consequently, I just completely stopped answering my phone. I figure if it’s really important, they can leave a message and I’ll get back to them. As a result, my anxiety goes through the roof when I’m talking on the phone. By the same token, I always feel like if they ask me a question, I won’t know the answer. Now, what’s so bad about that? However, in my mind that’s the worst scenario. Be that as it may, that’s how our brains take something so simple and makes a mountain out of a mole hill (so to speak). Something so minute and you could have a panic attack over it! I just don’t get it!

“In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.” — Anne Frank

Fear of Phone Calls

Even so, the fear of making and receiving phone calls can be disruptive to both your personal and professional lives. It is important to take phone anxiety seriously. Although answering the phone and making calls may seem like a simple task that everyone should be able to do, if you suffer from phone phobia, the anxiety can be terrifying and real.

“You only pass through this life once, you don’t come back for an encore.” — Elvis Presley

Phone Phobia Symptoms

If you feel extreme anxiety before or after interacting over the phone, you may be dealing with phone anxiety. Therefore, some emotional symptoms of phone anxiety may include:

• Avoid making calls or having others call you
• Delay in making or answering phone calls
• Obsess about what was said after calls
• Stress about embarrassing yourself
• Worry about bothering the other person
• Worry about what you will say

Also, physical symptoms of phone anxiety may include:

• Increased heart rate
• Nausea
• Shaking
• Trouble concentrating

“Life’s tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.” – John Wayne

Fear of Calling Someone

God forgive if you have to call someone. I do have days when I’m completely fine talking on the phone with someone else. But then I have days when the anxiety is really high and I just can’t do it. I haven’t figured out why, I just can’t. Even typing this, my anxiety is going up a little (because of the subject). Eventually, the fear of calling someone on the phone is so great, there are days when I refuse to talk on the phone.

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts.” — Nikki Giovanni (April 1998)

Sample Hierarchy for Phone Anxiety

Below is an example hierarchy for someone who gets nervous interacting over the phone:

• Calling a number that you know will only have a recorded message, like a customer service line
• Calling a family member or friend that you know well
• Calling a business and asking a straightforward question, such as when they close
• Calling someone that you don’t know well with a simple question
• Calling someone that you don’t know well about a complicated issue
• Making each of the previous types of calls in front of one person
• Making each of the previous types of calls in front of a group of people

“Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.” — Henry David Thoreau

Coping Strategies For Phone Phobia

Even if you have already participated in CBT and are looking for additional ways to cope, the following strategies may come in handy.

• Reward yourself. After making difficult calls, reward yourself by spending some time doing something that you enjoy.

• Visualize success. For example, imagine a positive conversation and feeling good afterward.

• Ascertain availability. Generally, if you are concerned about interrupting someone when you call, ask whether you are catching the person at a bad time. Hence, if the person is in the middle of something, this gives him the chance to offer to call you back.

• Don’t overthink it. Therefore, if someone says “no” or turns down a request, realize that it could be for many reasons that have nothing to do with you. Therefore, try not to read too much into someone else’s actions.

• Prepare. Do a bit of preparation before making a call, but don’t go overboard. Know generally what you are going to say, but try to anticipate that the conversation may not go exactly as you have planned. Hence, if there are important points that you need to bring up, make sure to write those down and keep them handy.

• Let it go to voicemail. Realize that you don’t always have to answer the phone. Furthermore, if someone is calling you at a bad time, or if you are too anxious to talk, it is acceptable to let calls go to voicemail from time to time.

• Try another communication method. The phone may not always be the best method of communication. Otherwise, if you want to have a digital record of your conversation or if you want to give the other person time to reflect before responding, email may be the better choice. However, if you need to discuss something emotional or the topic is complex, a phone call or face-to-face meeting may be best.

“The secret of happiness, you see is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”-Socrates

Conclusion

Yeah, so, I have phone phobia. I don’t know when it began, but I’ve had it for awhile. It seems like the anxiety, in general, became a lot worse in 2019 (when the Parkinson’s started). And it just spread out like a blanket, affecting other areas in my life. Simple things are now hard to accomplish. My mind makes a big deal out of the simplist actions.

And then there’s fear of talking on the phone. It almost sounds like somebody made this up. They even have a specific word for this- telephobia.

Did you know that they even made up a word for “fear of loosing your cell phone”- nomophobia. What is this world coming to? Nonetheless, I don’t make lite of phone phobia because I suffer from it. The anxiety has become so bad, I just stopped answering the phone. Obviously, I know that doesn’t solve the problem, but it’s a good solution in the meantime.

So, I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride and you come back to visit me again. Meanwhile, I’ll continue my ranting and raving about anxiety and how to deal with it. Continue the fight! Until next time…

Articles

-How to overcome phone anxiety

https://www.betterup.com/blog/phone-anxiety

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-Gen Z developing fear of phone calls, or “phone phobia”

https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/gen-z-developing-fear-of-phone-calls-or-phone-phobia/

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy, One Voice – Unstoppable

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Other Related Posts

Overthinking Anxiety(Opens in a new browser tab)

Consumed With Anxiety, But Fighting Back(Opens in a new browser tab)

Phobia Of Being Alone(Opens in a new browser tab)

Fear of Abandonment Phobia(Opens in a new browser tab)

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Sources

-Ruggiero GM, Spada MM, Caselli G, Sassaroli S. A Historical and Theoretical Review of Cognitive Behavioral Therapies: From Structural Self-Knowledge to Functional Processes. J Ration Emot Cogn Behav Ther. 2018;36(4):378–403. doi:10.1007/s10942-018-0292-8

-Gao Y, Li A, Zhu T, Liu X, Liu X. How smartphone usage correlates with social anxiety and loneliness. PeerJ. 2016;4:e2197. Published 2016 Jul 12. doi:10.7717/peerj.2197