Elderly Dealing With An Abusive Caregiver

Elderly dealing with an abusive caregiver will not be tolerated and should be reported.

I used to be a caregiver. I don’t condone elderly abuse by caregivers. It is a very stressful job.

I’m describing caregivers as the profession and those who are caring for loved ones.

That’s why I got out of the profession. That is why there is such a shortage of nurses in nursing homes. Although I’m not blaming the elderly.

This is not a blaming post. It’s a perspective from both sides of the coin. On one hand, I believe some of the elderly patient’s don’t understand what they’re doing.

On the other hand, caregivers have no right to treat the elderly with such disrespect and out right abuse. If you’re that bad off, get out of the profession.

Different Types of Abuse

Elderly dealing with an abusive caregiver has many different kinds of abuse.

All in all, the Care and support statutory guidance identifies six types of abuse that pertain to this post, these are:

Signs and Symptoms of Three Abuses

Warning signs of emotional/psychological abuse

Firstly, Being emotionally upset or agitated
Being extremely withdrawn, non-communicative, or non-responsive
Unusual behavior, such as sucking, biting, rocking
Witnessing a caregiver controlling or isolating an older adult
Exhibiting a change in sleeping patterns or eating habits
Personality changes, such as apologizing excessively
Depression or anxiety
Lastly, an older adult’s report of being verbally or emotionally mistreated

Warning signs of physical abuse

Firstly, bruises, black eyes, welts, lacerations, or rope marks
Bone fractures, broken bones, or skull fractures
Open wounds, cuts, punctures, untreated injuries in various stages of healing
Fourthly, sprains, dislocations, or internal injuries/bleeding
Broken eyeglasses/frames, physical signs of being subjected to punishment, or signs of being restrained
Additionally, laboratory findings of medication overdose or under-utilization of prescribed drugs
An older adult’s sudden change in behavior
The caregiver’s refusal to allow visitors to see or speak to an older adult alone
Lastly, an older adult’s report of being hit, slapped, kicked, or mistreated

Examples of Physical Abuse

Thus, common types of physical abuse to be aware of include:

Punching
Burning the skin
Ignoring medical conditions
Kicking
Tripping
Shoving
Threatening
Ignoring calls for help

Warning signs of financial exploitation

grayscale photography of sitting man — Photo by Alessio Cesario on Pexels.com

In detail, sudden changes in bank accounts or banking practices, including an unexplained withdrawal of large sums of money by a person accompanying the older adult
The inclusion of additional names on an older adult’s bank signature card
Surely, unauthorized withdrawal of the older adult’s funds using their ATM card
Abrupt changes in a will or other financial documents
Unexplained disappearance of funds or valuable possessions
Provision of substandard care or bills left unpaid despite the availability of adequate financial resources
Discovery of a forged signature for financial transactions or for the titles of the older adult’s possessions
Unexplained sudden transfer of assets to a family member or someone outside the family
In short, the provision of services that are not necessary
An older adult’s report of financial exploitation
Lastly, unexplained credit card charges

Why am I so Angry as a Caregiver?

Elderly dealing with an abusive caregiver will not be tolerated.

On the side of the caregiver, towards the end of my job, I was getting irritated with this one elder gentleman.

He wouldn’t listen to anything I said through no fault of his own (previously, he had a stroke).

This was in a nursing home and he wanted to take a nap, so he wanted to get into the bed. I tried to get one of the nurses to help me, but they were very busy.

He kept insisting and wouldn’t give up. He was trying to get into bed himself even though he was using a wheelchair.

So, I thought ok, I’ll try lifting him by myself. Bad mistake because I almost dropped him. I did get him into bed…barely.

I was angry at him because he wouldn’t except my answer. There were other instances with some of my other patients, but that one was the last straw for me.

Can You Get PTSD From Being a Caregiver?

Yes, caregivers can develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from the psychological and physical stress of caregiving. This is also known as caregiver stress syndrome.

Caregiving can be emotionally, mentally, and financially exhausting, especially for those caring for parents with dementia or severe disabilities.

Some signs of PTSD in caregivers include:

Flashback

Reliving a traumatic experience with the same degree of emotion as when it happened, I would have flashbacks of my mom angry all the time when I had an angry patient.

Anxiety

Heightened anxiety about the health of the loved one, especially at night, which can lead to night terrors.

My caregivers anxiety stemmed from the fact that I couldn’t handle people yelling at me. That is from my first grade teacher yelling and bullying me all the time.

Apathy

Feeling empty, numb, and emotionally detached from patients. I felt like nothing I did was helping them. They were always dissatisfied no matter what.

Pain

Chronic aches, pains, and headaches, as well as feelings of hopelessness and anguish. I would come home with headaches and pains in my body that I didn’t know could hurt.

Antisocial behavior

Withdrawing from friends and family, feeling numb, empty, or guilt-ridden. I just felt like I wasn’t helping anyone, nor myself. I became distant from everyone.

PTSD is often undetected and untreated because many people aren’t aware that caregiving can lead to it.

Professional treatment is beneficial, but there are also practical techniques that can be practiced while caregiving, such as telling people what you need and not waiting for them to offer help.

What do Caregivers Need Most?

Elderly dealing with an abusive caregiver needs to confront that caregiver if possible.

In general, caregivers taking care of elderly family need many things, including:

Respite

Time to rest and recharge, which can come from professional services, friends, family, or counseling.

I know when my grandma was taking caring of my grandpa, she always seemed tired. My mom and aunt were there to help out though.

Emotional Support

A way to express feelings and concerns without judgment, such as through peer support groups, counseling, or talking to someone.

Talking to someone else is a big game changer. You can’t keep it bottled up inside, it just explodes eventually. Found that out through my anxiety.

Employer Support

If they work outside the home, caregivers may need support from their employer. I had total support from the company I worked for.

They treated us like family and listened to our concerns. Although, It wasn’t enough for me to stay in the game.

Professional Caregiver

Hiring a professional caregiver can provide much-needed support for caregivers taking care of loved ones.

Although, sometimes it’s just best to hand the reigns over to someone else and let them care for your loved one.

Effective Communication

In sum, caregivers need to be able to communicate clearly, assertively, and constructively to get the help and support they need if possible.

Back-Up Care

In particular, caregivers need to have someone trustworthy who can take over in their absence. It is hard to find a professional caregiver that you absolutely trust even with other family members.

How to Report Elder Abuse

Elderly dealing with an abusive caregiver needs to report them. Thus, to report a concern, contact the Adult Protective Services (APS) agency in the state where the older adult resides.

Find the APS reporting number for each state by visiting: The State Resources section of the National Center on Elder Abuse website. The Eldercare Locator website or calling 800-677-1116.

Also, to report abuse of a person in a nursing home or hospital, call the Department of Public Health at 800-462-5540.

If you have been the victim of abuse, exploitation, or neglect, you are not alone. Many people care and can help.

Please tell your doctor, a friend, or a family member you trust, or call the Eldercare Locator help line immediately.

Hence, you can reach the Eldercare Locator by telephone at 1-800-677-1116. Specially trained operators will refer you to a local agency that can help.

The Eldercare Locator is open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern Time.

lovely elderly couple — Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com

Older Adult Protection Law

Subsequently, there are multiple laws and programs that protect older adults, including:

Elder Justice Act

Passed in 2010, this was the first federal law to comprehensively address the abuse, neglect, and exploitation of older adults.

Whereas, it established the Elder Justice Coordinating Council to coordinate federal responses to elder abuse.

Senior Safe Act

Passed in 2018, this law provides immunity from liability for financial institutions and certain employees who report potential exploitation of a older adult.

In the same way, some states have their own laws governing against elderly abuse. You will have to look up the state that you live in to find these laws.

Sum It All Up

Elderly dealing with an abusive caregiver need to speak up and say something if possible either to their employer or talk to family.

So, I gave you some phone numbers to call in case you or someone you know is being abused by a caregiver.

On the caregivers part, if you’re a professional caregiver and you’re abusing a patient, stop and get out of that profession. You will get caught.

You have no right to be caring for someone if you can’t handle the downside part of it. I understand on some days you think you can’t, then it’s time to get out.

For those family members taking care of loved ones, if you can’t handle it on some days, hire someone. You’re not doing your elder any favors. Peace and always love. Until next time…

grandmother making faces — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Articles About Elderly Dealing With An Abusive Caregiver

-Navigating Caregiving: How Caregiving Can Lead to PTSD

https://www.jfscare.org/blog/caregiving-can-lead-to-ptsd/#:~:text=PTSD%20(post%2Dtraumatic%20stress%20disorder,caregiving%20can%20lead%20to%20PTSD.

-Elder abuse: How to spot warning signs, get help, and report mistreatment

https://www.apa.org/topics/aging-older-adults/elder-abuse

-5 Mistakes Professional Caregivers Make with Senior Care and How to Avoid

https://aristahc.com/mistakes-professional-caregivers-make

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy
“One Voice Who Used To Be A Caregiver”

“To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.”–Mickey Rooney

“I say the law should be blind to race, gender and sexual orientation, just as it claims to be blind to wealth and power. There should be no specially protected groups of any kind, except for children, the severely disabled and the elderly, whose physical frailty demands society’s care.”-Camille Paglia

“I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it. As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of life at any cost.”-Terry Pratchett

“And the biggest, coldest power play of all in Obamacare came at the expense of the elderly.”-Paul Ryan

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