Clean Slate Feeling: Rewritten in Pencil, Not Pen

That clean slate feeling is a chance to start over no matter what has happened in the past. My feeling came eight years ago. I harmed myself and ended up in the hospital for three weeks.

After surviving that, I wanted to incorporate more positive things in my life to get myself out of the hole I dug myself into. So, I focused on slowly developing friendships once again.

I’m scared. I still don’t have any friends. I’m afraid of the trust issue. So, I hide in my room and type away. Other areas of my life have significantly improved except for this issue. How do I get someone to trust me if I don’t trust myself?

“Every morning gifts you a clean slate—a chance to chase your dreams, welcome new experiences, and weave beautiful memories.”

What is the Clean Slate Meaning

The clean slate feeling meaning is starting something over when it wasn’t working for you before. Nothing’s on the table (so to speak), so you get another shot at it. You may try it from a different approach, and obtain it that way.

You’ve learned your lesson the time before, and want a second chance. Although some people fall into their wrongful habits, and repeat the same process. In other words, you “didn’t learn from your mistakes.”

For those who don’t want to repeat the past, a clean slate is just what the doctor ordered. You have a chance to make a wrong right again. That is what is on the docket of my mission, but it’s been slow go in the friendship area.

I’ve had people shut me out once they learn I have schizophrenia issues. They don’t want to have to deal with that (neither do I, respectively). But it is there. I wish they would see me for me and not my illness.

Define Clean Slate in a Sentence

I believe the clean slate feeling can be discribed in more than just one sentence. It’s more of a feeling, and then taking the action to support that feeling. You may make mistakes, that’s par for the course. That’s how you learn your way through life.

A clean slate feeling is about getting a second chance at something that didn’t go as planned before. I’m not going to fully bring religion into this, but I do believe there is a God.

I believe I have accumulated many second chances throughout my life. I’ve royally screwed-up many times, some of them dangerously. But I always ened up on the other side with just a bruised ego. I could have had health complications.

This last time, I really wanted to change my ways, because I just kept repeating the same scenerio over and over again. My big a-ha moment came when I stopped playing the victim card, and concentrated on becoming a better person. So far that’s working.

What Are Some Clean Slate Feeling Words of Wisdom

Words of wisdom for clean slate feeling, let’s see…don’t take on too much at one time, and take caution to as how fast you are moving.

Over Estimating the Transition

The biggest problem is overdoing the transition. Don’t take on all the problems all at once and think you’re going to reform yourself that way. One thing at a time. I chose friendships so I would have someone to talk to.

Even though right now, it’s nonexistent, doesn’t mean I have given up. I believe friendships are forged over time and with intention. I did try to forge a friendship with someone, but she has her own issues with friendships.

Taking on too much with a clean slate feeling can wear you out really fast. You’re done before you even get started. Choose one thing, and focus on that. In the beginning, you want to test the waters, see how much you can accomplish. Then move forward.

“Don’t carry the weight of yesterday into your today.”

Second Fault, Going to Fast

Thinking that everything is going to be fixed in one day is not thinking it through. You might wish it like that, but that’s not reality. We need to stay in reality. I tried to rush it in the beginning, and it backfired on me. So, I was worse off.

I know we are living in a fast paced world, but some things are meant to take time. This is one of them. In the beginning, I tried to rush it, and I only made matters worse. My depression got worse due to my idea of how it should change quickly.

Taking it slow gives you more momentum to push further. You start with one goal, and accumulate self-confidence with each accomplishment. This gives you the fuel to push further.

What Are Clean Slate Feeling Butterflies?

So, what is clean slate butterflies? Is it like when you have to give a presentation to a large group of people? Or maybe you have to climb a ladder to change a lightbulb (I’m afraid of heights).

I believe it has to do with it being a foreign concept that you have never tried before. It’s in the area of the unknown. What might happen if you fail? Will you become even worse than before?

Also, the butterflies are there, because your mind might object to the change. Change is very difficult for some people. They are so worried about the “what if’s” that they don’t even start.

The “what if’s” is like cancer that spreads in the mind. We can talk ourselves out of anything if we are afraid of it. I had butterflies about making friends, because I’m so used to being the puppet of the friendship. I’m a people pleaser.

I put myself in a position where I’m the lesser of the to in the friendship. I never learned how to be equal. Working on that too.

Clean Slate Feeling, Good to Obtain More Goals

You feel good about yourself when you accomplish something positive about yourself. It pushes you to keep going in the right direction. Once you get that first goal, you are feeling good about accomplishing more goals.

On the other hand, you have to be aware of setbacks. These will occur, but I believe you have the will power to push forward. Just remember the outcome you are trying to gain to improve yourself.

Getting back to feeling good, it’s a wonderful feeling to gain more and more power over your life. Some people spin in circles and then spin out ofcontrol. But, I know you have the stamina to keep pushing forward.

I’m rooting for you! You can also have clean slate feeling light. You feel the weight that bogged you down from all the crap that you carried around. Extra baggage. The stale emotions that you had lift one by one.

“The greatest of all capabilities of a human being is to become born again.” — J.R. Rim (via YourTango)

How to Obtain Clean State Feeling

For friendships, “speaking up” usually means two things: asking for what you need and naming what is not working without apologizing for existing. Here are 4 strategies you can start using right away.

1) Use one simple script: “When X, I feel Y, I need Z”

Keep it short and calm.

Examples:

When plans change last minute, I feel brushed off. I need more notice.
When I do most of the reaching out, I feel unsure. I need it to be more balanced.
When jokes are about me, I feel embarrassed. I need that to stop.

Say it once. Then stop talking. Let it land.

2) Start with “low-risk honesty” (practice reps)

You do not have to begin with big confrontations. Build the skill.

Try once a day:

I actually prefer something else.
I cannot do that, but I can do this.
That does not work for me.
I need a minute to think about it.
I felt a little hurt by that.

These small reps train your nervous system to stay steady.

3) Make clear asks instead of hints

A lot of friendship pain comes from hoping people will notice.

Swap hints for direct asks:

Instead of: “No worries, it is fine.”
Say: I would like to see you this week. Are you free Tuesday or Thursday?
Instead of: “I guess you are busy.”
Say: I miss you. Can we plan something and put it on the calendar?
Instead of: “It is okay.”
Say: It is not okay for me. I need it to change.

Direct is kind. It saves time.

4) Use a “two-tries rule” to protect your self-respect

If you speak up and nothing changes, you do not have to keep begging.

Try 1: say what you need clearly.
Try 2: repeat once, with a boundary.
If it continues: step back (less access, fewer favors, less chasing).

Boundary example:

I want to stay close, but I cannot keep being the only one planning. I am going to step back and let you reach out next time.

Mini challenge (this week)

Pick one friend and say one honest sentence from this list:

I would love to feel more connected. Can we plan a day to hang out?
I felt hurt when you canceled. Can we make a plan and stick to it?
I am not up for that. But I can do something else.

If you tell me one real situation you are facing (what happened, with who, and what you want), I can write the exact message you can send.

“Once you realize you deserve a bright future, letting go of your dark past is the best choice you will ever make.” — Roy T. Bennett

Sum It All Up

Achieving clean slate feeling is awesome! I’ve overcome so many obstacles that used to weigh heavy on me. Before, I felt stuck and would remain that way forever.

I remember years ago staring out the kitchen window wondering what my life was going to look like in the distant future. Not all is good, but there’s more positive than negative.

I use a pencil and not a pen in writing goals for clean slate feeling. A pen seems so omnious. If you use a pencil, you can adjust your goals accordingly. A pen is so permanent. You have to be flexible.

Cindee Murphy
“One voice who feels really optomistic about clean slate feeling.”