Friendships: When Friends Turn Against You

Friendships…I used to think friends would never hurt you, and always back you up when you need them. But, I learned the lesson that that isn’t always true. They can desert you faster than the roadrunner.

I was being bullied by my nemesis and asked my so-called friend to help me. She flat out said no and went and sat next to my nemesis on the school bus. Talk about stabbing me in the back.

I’ll never forget that day, and I’m sorry, but I’ll never forgive her. Some people don’t deserve it. I know it sounds petty all these years later, but it hurt me so bad emotionally that I was scarred for life. I have trouble trusting people, because of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I did make other friends during school, but I never kept in touch with them after school. I have seen my so-called best friend because she visits her dad who lives across the street, but I don’t talk to her.

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”― Bob Marley

Different Types of Friendships

Here’s a simple guide to different types of friendships, with quick notes to help you spot them in your life.

Childhood friends: Grew up together. Lots of shared history, even if you don’t talk often.
School friends: Bonded over classes, sports, or clubs. May fade after graduation or last for life.
College friends: Deep, intense season of life. Often become chosen family.
Work friends: Connect over projects and daily grind. Some stay “work-only,” some become close.
Neighbor friends: Convenience and community. Great for day-to-day support..
Best friends: High trust, high honesty. You go to them first with news or problems.
Close friends: Strong bond and steady contact. Not quite “tell all,” but very supportive.
Casual friends: You like each other, meet sometimes, keep it light.
Long-distance friends: Low maintenance, high loyalty. Pick up right where you left off.
Online friends: Built in DMs, forums, or games. Can be very real and meaningful.
Party/social friends: Fun hangs and events. Not always the right fit for deeper talks.
Toxic friendships: One-sided, draining, or unkind. Set boundaries or step away.

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”― Linda Grayson

Friendship Forever

Once you develope a friendship with someone, you expect it to last forever. Or, you hope it to last forever. Imagine making friends with someone who really gets you, and is sympathetic to your problems.

The one true person you can confide your deepest, darkest secrets with. I’ve driven away most of my friends from school, because they were just my school friends whom after graduation I lost contact with.

I yearn for that close friendship every single day. A friendship that stands the test of time. That day will come.

“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Close Friendships

The meaning of a close friendship is a relationship marked by trust, honesty, and steady support. Equally, you share personal parts of your life, feel safe being yourself, and show up for each other consistently. It’s mutual, respectful, and reliable.

Sometimes when you think you have a close friendship, it turns out to be an enemy. Test the waters to be absolutely sure they are a close friend. But even then, sometimes it can be a false friendship.

Having a close friend is who helps you throughout life is wonderful. Undoubtedly, They can be the one person who can listen and relate to your problems. And never let anyone tell you who your friends can and can’t be (I’ve had experience with that one).

Our Friendship

At length, I have some deep questions about friendships. How can you absolutely know you can trust them with your deepest, darkest secrets? I’ve never had a friendship that has lasted to that point, and not turn sour.

If I could say one thing to my so-called best friend, “Why do you hate me so much, that you would turn on me?” Maybe it was because I was the “punching bag” of insults of the class I was in. Was I someone you didn’t want to be associated with?

I thought our friendship was going to last forever, but it was not meant to be, I guess. If you have a friend, I hope you can trust that they will be at your side no matter what, through thick and thin.

What is a Friendship For?

A friendship is for those that need closeness to someone, and to know you can depend on them. When you need to talk to someone, they are always there to listen without judgement.

They are there on those bad days when you need cheering up. I don’t have that right now because of me isolating myself. I don’t ever want to feel that pain again of betrayal.

Having a close friend is desperately needed when you have no one to talk to about your problems. I believe that is partially why I started this blog, so I could at least communicate with someone who may be going through this hardship also.

One-Sided Friendship

Even though in my friendship, she wasn’t reciprocal in the same feelings of trust and closeness, I never thought I had a one-sided friendship. We did have good times together, but as we grew up, it changed.

Best friends are supposed to be friends until the day they die. They share all their troublesome problems and secrets. They know each other inside and out. At least that’s the way I see it.

Who knows, maybe I’ll still find that friend before I pass. There is always hope. Someone I can believe in and they feel the same. But, if I keep isolating myself, I’m afraid I’ll never find that one true friend. So, time to get to work.

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”― Aristotle

How Do I End a Friendship?

When your friend has betrayed you, how do you end the friendship? It’s a difficult situation, because you trusted them with your life. For me, I just refused to speak to her anymore. Maybe that was wrong, but I didn’t want to be around her anymore.

I couldn’t speak to her. It was to difficult, especially as a child. You don’t understand exactly what happened to the friendship, or if there was one at all. You feel betrayed and at a loss for awhile.

If I was an adult, maybe I would have handled it different. Maybe I would want the reason why. It’s just like being slapped in the face, and you don’t know it’s coming. It knocks you down to the ground when least expecting it.

Outgrowing Friendships

For some people, you just outgrow the friendship. The two of you disperse in different directions. I wonder if that’s what happened to me? It’s possible. It shattered me so much that I’ve disintegrated all friendships after that.

When you outgrow one another, it could be a mutual agreement. You both know the truth, and now it’s time to part ways. Although, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You still feel the sting of the loss of a once good friendship.

Once, you had a good friendship, then it just dissolved through no fault of either one of you. Life can hit you with a brick, but you have to always get back up, and find that next person to connect with.

Sum It All Up

Sometimes friendships dissolves like ice cubes in water. They are intact in the beginning, but start to melt until there is nothing left. Yet, some friendships remain strong through thick and thin.

I still wish I can have that one friendship that will last the test of time. My time isn’t over yet, so it could happen. When I’m able to move into my own place, I’m sure I’ll make lots of friends.

Friendships are not to be taken for granted, they should be cherished as long as they last. I do miss having a true friend, but it will happen in due time. They are once in a life time.

Cindee Murphy

“One voice who was betrayed by a so-called friend.”

Social Anxiety and Frienships(Opens in a new browser tab)