Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. Not everyone understands high functioning anxiety.
You smile or laugh at a joke, but it’s no joke that behind that smile you’re going through pure torture. Therefore, you only pretend to be happy so no one will ask questions.
You feel like if they start asking questions, you’ll loose it. Therefore, you’ve become vey good at putting on a facade. Only a select few know that you deal with anxiety on a daily basis.
For me, the anxiety is there because I don’t know how to deal with life (basically). I don’t know how to handle stress, but I put a front up so it doesn’t show.
High functioning anxiety is a term used to describe people who appear to be successful and well-adjusted in their lives, but are actually experiencing high levels of anxiety internally.
People with high-functioning anxiety may be skilled at hiding their symptoms from others, but can still struggle with painful emotions and physical symptoms while fulfilling their obligations.
Characteristics of High Functioning Anxiety
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety is key in recogniizing it. I know I have problems with social interaction and communication.
That’s why I try to hide in my room as much as possible.
But when I do leave the house, the mask comes on. I look like any other person in society. I try to act “normal” so I don’t have to explain myself.
I’ve become good at lying about my feelings. Nobody will ever know (except a few select) how I truely feel. Subsequently, it’s that way by design.
My anxiety has taken over my life because I let it. I can’t go to social without having a mental breakdown inside. But I make sure it doesn’t show outside.
I manipulate people into thinking I’m ok, but I really know the truth. I shut down inside when I have to talk to someone. But outwardly, I look as f**k as normal. I hate this!
Causes of High Functioning Anxiety
Genetics
Having a family history of anxiety disorders or other mental health conditions. My mother was bipolar and had anxiety issues. So unfortunetly, I inherited it from her.
In the beginning, she was high functioning. But as time went on, she couldn’t handle it anymore, so it consumed her, except when I got married. She was high functioning again.
Childhood
In particular, growing up in an environment with triggers, such as having parents or siblings who suffer from anxiety, or having challenging childhood relationships.
I was constantly bullied all throughout school thanks to my first grade teacher who started the bullying.
Yes, you heard me right. She made an example out of me to the rest of the class. She used to pull me out of the seat by my hair.
Thereafter, I believe that’s why I’m so screwed up today. That’s why I have difficulties talking to other people, especially ones I don’t know.
Stress
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. Not everyone understands high functioning anxiety.
Experiencing significant stressors, daily intense stress, or exposure to negative or stressful life events. Life in general is a stressor.
My childhood set the state of my stressors. I never learned to defend myself, so the stress of having everyone “walk all over me” is a big stressor.
I create my own anxiety because I don’t know how to deal with the stress. Hence, why I hide in my room. I’m a coward in every right.
Physical Health
Certain physical conditions, most commonly related to thyroid issues, heart problems, or other conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), or asthma.
Specifically, my trigger is Parkinson’s Disease. I’m very reluctant to go out because of the movements. Sometimes, they get real bad and I become self-conscious.
Other factors
Societal pressures, gender roles, relationship concerns, substance and alcohol abuse, or shyness or nervousness traits from childhood.
I can attest to the shyness from childhood part. In short, I was extremely shy growing up. I believe part of that had to do with the bullying in school.
Thus, I would hide behind people trying not to get noticed. I wanted to be that minuscule ant on the sidewalk that nobody sees and hopes not to be seen. And I got stepped on.
High Functioning Anxiety and Depression
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. My depression from the anxiety developed when I was young. I just learned how to perfect “high functioning” persona later in life.
I became really good at it also. The depression started around when I was 16 (I think). I got tired of people asking the same questions over and over, so I “put on a happy face.”
Consequently, I don’t know if I’m considered high functioning now because I hardly go anywhere. I rarely go to social gatherings anymore (even with family).
Anxiety has consumed my life to the point where I isolate now. Although, I feel truely happy since doing it. Is that wrong? I don’t know. Actually, do I care? No.
I’m actually content to stay in my room. Less stress, which is fine with me. Me and the movements are happy.
Symptoms of High Functioning Anxiety
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxietyis key in knowing the symptoms.
High-functioning anxiety can be difficult to identify because people with it are often skilled at hiding their symptoms.
However, there are some common signs to look for, including:
Emotional symptoms
Constant worry and fear, even about minor matters. Therefore, this can include fears of criticism, self-criticism, looking inadequate, or letting people down.
People with high-functioning anxiety may also overthink and ruminate over decisions and outcomes, have difficulty concentrating, and feel like their mind is racing or going blank.
I get the blank feeling sometimes when I’m writing these posts. I don’t know what to say. Concentration sucks also.
Consequently, I’m very big on self-ctriticism (can you tell). I believe because of all the criticism I got when I was in school, I’m very critical of myself. I do everything wrong according to my book.
Behavioral symptoms
In sum, people with high-functioning anxiety may work long hours, go above and beyond to avoid making mistakes.
Also, they have impossibly high standards that leave them feeling unsatisfied.
They may also over-prepare for tasks, pace around, bite their nails, or play with their hair. I’m in this category, I bite my nails and mainly my cuticles. I make them bloody.
If it causes me pain, I don’t care. I don’t understand myself, why it goes to that extreme. Also, I go to great lengths to avoid making mistakes.
In essevce, I know, “everybody makes mistakes.” I’m afraid I’ll be ridiculed if I do, or worse yet, I’ll ridicule myself. Nothing like putting yourself down before someone else has a chance to.
Physical symptoms
People with high-functioning anxiety may experience excessive sweating, feeling off-balance or lightheaded, headaches or migraines.
Also they experience intestinal discomforts, body aches, brain fog, tingling or numbness in toes or fingers, and muscle tension.
They may also have difficulty sleeping, either because anxiety fills their mind and body or because they wear themselves out enough to crash but then wake up in the middle of the night.
In reality, my biggest thing is brain fog. Like right now, I’m just kind of staring at the screen, lost in space. I’m sort of here, but not really.
Still, I believe a lot of my symptoms come from the Parkinson’s disease. I can’t remember things…a lot. I forget how to spell a lot of simple words. In truth, I used to be a good speller.
Treating High Functioning Anxiety
Medication for High Functioning Anxiety
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are common treatments for High-functioning anxiety.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
On one hand, these antidepressants increase serotonin levels in the brain and are often the first-line treatment for anxiety.
Common SSRIs include sertraline, escitalopram, and paroxetine, and brand names include Celexa, Lexapro, Luvox, Paxil, and Zoloft.
On the other hand, SSRIs can take several weeks to start working and may cause side effects like nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and low sodium levels.
Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs)
Brand names include Pristiq, Cymbalta, and Effexor XR. Most important, don’t ever get put on Effexor XR. It’s the worst drug in the world. It makes you feel like a zombie (literally).
I’m currently on Cymbalta which I haven’t had really any side effects from it. I think I’ve been on it for almost 10 years now.
Benzodiazepines
These anti-anxiety medications work faster than SSRIs and have fewer side effects, but can be habit forming.
I’m currently taking Klonopin for my anxiety. The only thing, like they say, it is habit forming. My body is starting to get used to the dosage that I started out with (1mg).
Of course, I don’t want to go any higher because I’ve taken this before and did get addicted to it. It’s no fun trying to stop it.
Beta blockers
To be sure, these medications reduce the effects of fight-or-flight hormones on the heart and are commonly prescribed for anxiety and high blood pressure.
My docotor put me on Atenolol, which is a beta blocker. It helped with my movements and the anxiety along with the other meds I was on.
Other antidepressants
These include mirtazapine (Remeron), trazodone (Desyrel), and nefazadone (Serzone), which can be sedating and help with sleep.
I liked trazodone because it has a good quality of sleep aid in it. I was on it for a long time and it worked very well.
6 Daily Hacks That Help Manage High-Functioning Anxiety
1. Recognize your symptoms for what they are
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. That is, once you ackowledge your symptoms, they have less power over you or your anxiety may even completely disappear.
Don’t try to hide from them like me. I may talk the talk, but I don’t walk the walk. I may pretend everything is ok, but deep down I know it isn’t.
To emphasize, isolating is not the answer because I feel so all alone. This is no way to live, but I feel trapped by my own doing’s.
2. Make friends with your fear
Admitting you have fear (no matter what kind) is the best way to abolish anxiety. It has less strength over you and therefore, you can gain back your sanity.
There goes the brain fog again. Geez! I can ‘t wait for the microdosing to come (1 more day). Anyway, making friends with your fears goes a long way.
Then again, if you make friends with your fear, it won’t be a fear anymore. You’ll stop worrying if you did this right or if you did that wrong.
I do isolate myself, but I also push myself into uncomfortable situations such as going to the store. I converse with people I don’t know. I’m conquering my shyness or fear of talking to people.
Without a doubt, exercise is a good way to reconnect with your body. I’ve starting walking at least 20-30 minutes a day.
A few years back, I would walk for an hour and a half. I want to do that again.
I felt good back then. With the result that life happened and I fell out of practice with it. So, I’ve started again. It makes me feel good and gets the juices flowing.
Anxiety is just as much physical as it is mental. With this in mind, people with high-functioning anxiety tend to live in their heads and find it hard to break the cycle of fearful thinking and feeling.
Having a healthy relationship with my body gets me out of my head and channels my nervous energy in a more positive direction.
4. Have a mantra, and use it every day
I have learned how to talk back to my fear.
When that not-so-little voice inside starts to tell me that I’m not good enough or that I need to push myself even harder, I have developed a few phrases to say back to it:
“Who I am right now is good enough for me.”
“I am doing my best.”
“I am not perfect and I love myself for who I am.”
“Therefore, I deserve to take good care of myself.”
Therefore, this tool is especially helpful when it comes to dealing with a challenging symptom of high-functioning anxiety: perfectionism.
Having a mantra is empowering, and it gives me an opportunity to practice self-care and to cope with anxiety at the same time.
With this intention, I remember that I have a voice and that what I need is important, especially when it comes to my mental health.
5. Learn how to intervene with yourself
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. With the result that anxiety feeds off of anxiety, like a giant snowball rolling downhill.
Once you have identified your symptoms, you can learn how to intervene when they appear, and step out of the way before you get rolled over.
I find it difficult to make decisions, whether they’re about what I’m going to write about in my posts or picking out my clothes I’m going to wear for the day.
When I start to obsess and check back and forth, back and forth, I stop. I make myself walk away from whatever is causing my anxiety to rise.
One tool I use is a timer. When the timer goes off, I hold myself accountable and I walk away. If I’ve had a particularly stressful week, I don’t follow that with a jam-packed weekend.
With the result that this may mean saying “No” and disappointing someone, but I need to prioritize my own wellness.
I have identified activities outside of work that are soothing for me, and I make time for myself to do them.
Learning how to moderate my own emotions and behaviors in response to anxiety has been key to managing my symptoms, and has decreased my overall level of stress.
6. Create a support squad
Without doubt, having a support squad is very beneficial. When I was working, I would confide in certain coworkers whom I felt comfortable with, about my anxiety.
They understood where I was coming from and were very supportive. Altogether, they would give me the feed back that I needed.
At one job, I was close to my boss. We were on a bowling team together for several years. As a result, I could confide in her with just about anything even though she was my boss.
She was more than my boss, she was a true friend. I left the company and fell out of contact with her. As a matter of fact, I do miss her friendship and honesty.
Henceforth, all six of these life hacks can be put together into an effective high-functioning anxiety toolbox.
I can use these skills to put myself back in the driver’s seat. At length, learning how to cope with anxiety doesn’t happen overnight, something that we Type A’s can find frustrating.
But I am confident that if I put even a fraction of that overachieving energy into my own wellness, the results will be positive.
Sum It All Up
Behind the smile: understanding high functioning anxiety. So you see, there are effective ways to deal with anxiety.
You don’t always have to hide behind that smile or false persona. People really do understand.
And they will help you if you let them. No more of this high-functioning anxiety anymore. Emphatically, if you have anxiety, face it, don’t hide from it.
It’s about time I stop my isolation altogether. It’s not doing me any favors, just making me lonely and depressed.
Time to hit the dating scene again! Let’s see if I can find husband number three. The last two were met online. I think I’ll try a different avenue this time. Until next time…
Articles About High Functioning Anxiety
-Behind the mask: Managing high-functioning anxiety
-Signs You Have High-Functioning Anxiety and What to Do About It
-High Functioning Anxiety Quiz (Free Results)
https://www.besttherapists.com/blog/high-functioning-anxiety-quiz
Have a Good One,
Cindee Murphy, One Voice In The Vastness Of Emotions
“Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression… It lightens human burdens. Therefore, it is the direct route to serenity and contentment.”— Grenville Kleiser
“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”— Roy Bennett
“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”— Steve Maraboli
“Do not let your difficulties fill you with anxiety, after all it is only in the darkest nights that stars shine more brightly.”— Ali Ibn Abi Talib
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Unveiling High Functioning Anxiety Disorder: Hidden Struggles(Opens in a new browser tab)
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