When Suffering Feels Endless, What to Do Next

Suffering, what is it really? It’s different meanings to how people perceive it. If you think suffering is a constant entity, then you’re always going to be in that boat. If you see it as a stepping stone to a more plentiful path, then you have hope for the future.

When suffering feels endless, how do you get yourself out of it? That’s later on in this post. But I will say one thing, suffering doesn’t have to be endless. It lasts as long as you let it. I believe we inadverdently create our own suffering, whether intentional or not. I know of a woman who is now homeless because she got swindled by a mortgage company. She didn’t read the fineprint. Is it her fault?

Sometimes we make mistakes in which suffering follows. But we also have a choice to end that suffering. I always say my life changed because I became proactive instead of reactive.

“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

What is the suffering meaning?

Suffering is the experience of distress, pain, or hardship that feels hard to bear.

It can be:

Physical, such as illness, injury, hunger, or chronic pain.
Emotional, such as grief, fear, loneliness, guilt, or heartbreak.
Mental, such as constant worry, hopelessness, or feeling trapped.
Social, such as rejection, abuse, poverty, discrimination, or losing someone important.
Existential, such as questioning purpose, mortality, fairness, or why painful things happen.

Pain and suffering are related, but they are not always the same. Pain is often the direct hurt. Suffering is the wider experience of carrying that hurt, especially when it feels overwhelming, unfair, or without an end in sight.

For example, losing a job is a difficult event. The anxiety, shame, uncertainty, and fear about the future that follow may be the suffering.

Suffering synonym

Suffering can also be called pain, hardship, distress, misery, anguish, torment, or affliction. These words often describe a difficult experience that causes hurt or discomfort.

Emotional suffering

For emotional suffering, you might use words like heartache, grief, sorrow, despair, loneliness, or inner pain. These fit feelings connected to loss, fear, sadness, or disappointment.

For a simpler tone, use struggle, difficulty, trouble, burden, or hurt. The best word depends on the type and intensity of suffering you want to describe.

What are the 5 signs of emotional suffering?

Constant sadness or emptiness
You may feel low, numb, tearful, or disconnected most days.
Pulling away from people
You stop answering messages, cancel plans, or avoid people you usually trust.
Changes in sleep or appetite
You may sleep far more or less than usual. Eating can also become difficult or feel out of control.
Irritability or emotional outbursts
Small problems may feel unbearable. You might feel angry, restless, tense, or easily overwhelmed.
Loss of interest or hope
Things you once enjoyed may feel pointless. You may struggle to look forward to anything.

These signs do not mean someone is weak or broken. They can be signals that support is needed.

Why does God allow suffering?

That is an important question that some of us ask when there is no end in site from suffering. You can interperet that to whatever your religious beliefs are. Personally, I believe it’s a way of learning. You can’t have good things happen to you all the time, you need a leverage, and that might be suffering.

It teaches you how to deal with adversity. How do you solve a problem or a situation that you are stuck in. It’s like a test from God, how well do you handle the bad along with the good?

I’ve struggled most of my life with mental illness. I tried to give up many times, but God had other plans. Now, I speak to you through my own experiences to help you see that life is too precious to give up (good and bad).

Suffering is like a learning curve to get you back into the good part. I know, you might say “Well, what about the people experiencing homelessness?” There are homeless people that do make it back into society with the help of the community.

What does silently suffering mean?

I sat in my bedroom for a couple of years silently suffering from loneliness. Not because I wanted to, but because I was scared to talk to anyone (even family). The loneliness of the four walls staring at me was more than I could take. It was suffocating me. I was told later that it was called social anxiety. I hardly ever left the house because I was afraid to talk to people.

You don’t have to silently suffer from anything. There are always people willing to help you. You can call or text 988. I used to be afraid to ask for help because I was afraid of being judged. I did call 988 a couple of times, and they were extremely supportive and understanding.

Silently suffering only leads down a dark road. It gets darker the longer it lasts. About fifteen years ago, I remember staring out the kitchen window wondering what my life was going to be in the future. Back then, I was suffering from Bipolar. My mood swings were all over the place. When I was staring out the window, I was in a depressive state. I thought my future looked bleak. I could have never have known that I would be sitting here typing about my past, and what I have learned to make my future bright again.

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” — Khalil Gibran

Perseverance produces hope

I believe in perseverance because it does produce hope! If I would have stayed in that bedroom, I don’t even want to think where I would be at. But, I chose to leave those four walls (what I once called safety), and explore the other part of the world that I was so afraid of.

Hope is something you have to hold onto. It’s what gets you through those really tough days of suffering. If you work on one small problem at a time with perseverance, each gain gives you momentum to continue to the next problem. It’s like stepping stones on a path that leads you to freedom.

I know there are skeptics out there that don’t believe in hope. Look at your life, and the direction that it’s leading to. Because you have no hope, your life will never be meaningful. You’ll always be stuck in the suffering part of life, and never receive that part you dreamt of.

Suffering creates endurance

The more you suffer, the more your endurance goes up. But, you don’t want to be stuck in the suffering mode. I felt like I was stuck in the suffering feeling because of my mental illnesses. But I endured it for a long time, and finally my break came when I found an herb that released me from that stuck feeling.

I am happier than I’ve ever been. As long as I can remember. I’m able to share my story with those of you out there. It’s like the dam has broken, and all of these positive feelings came flooding in. My life was so prolonged by the negative that I didn’t think positive was possible.

Endurance is a strong word for a strong life. If you hold out long enough, positivity will find you in the most endearing ways. It could be in a smile, or just a simple hello from a stranger. Never underestimate your ability to hang onto hope. It is out there just waiting for you to receive it.

I suffer from short term memory loss

I have short term memory loss because of a medication I’m on. It’s been a bumpy road because if I’m told something, it’s gone in the next second. I have to constantly write things down. But, do I consider it suffering? I consider it another path I have to travel down to meet my needs.

Suffering has such a big connotation to it. It depends on what you consider suffering to be. When I was in a depressed state, yes I considered that suffering. But now that I’m on the other side of the bridge, I consider it enduring. Never underestimate how your brain perceives things depending on your emotions at the time.

My memory loss started about a year ago and has steadily become worse. It’s not so much the specific med I’m on, but the type of med I’m on. I’ve recently in the process of changing meds, so we’ll see what happens. Supposedly, the new med has less severe reactions. I also have a tremor that developed from the last med, but I’m also persevering through that.

How many people suffer from low self-esteem?

There is no single, reliable worldwide number for how many people have low self-esteem. Studies use different age groups, countries, and definitions.

One U.S. survey of 5,000 adults found that about 32% reported chronically low self-esteem. The rate was higher among women in that survey, at about 37%, compared with about 28% among men.

Be careful with the widely shared claim that “85% of people have low self-esteem.” It is often repeated online, but it is not supported by strong, clear research.

Research suggests that low self-esteem is common, with some surveys finding that about one in three adults experience it.

Low self-esteem is one of the most troublesome areas to climb out of. You need to believe in yourself, and that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. During school, bullying was a constant thing for me. My self-esteem was in the toilet. Looking back on it now, I wouldn’t be the strong willed person I am today without learning to take the punches. Endurance again! Although, I’m not condoning it.

How to combat endless suffering

You do not have to solve your whole life today. Focus on making the next hour a little safer and lighter.

Name what is hurting.
Write one plain sentence: “I’m suffering because…” Being specific can turn a huge feeling into one problem at a time.
Shrink the time frame.
Do not ask, “How will I survive forever?” Ask, “What do I need for the next 10 minutes?” Water, food, a shower, fresh air, rest, or quiet can be a real first step.
Tell one safe person.
Send a simple message: “I’m having a hard time and I don’t want to be alone with it.” You do not need the perfect explanation.
Get support beyond willpower.
A therapist, doctor, support group, faith leader, or trusted counselor can help you sort through pain that is too heavy to carry alone.
Protect the basics.
Sleep, regular meals, movement, sunlight, and less alcohol or drug use will not fix every cause of suffering, but they can lower the intensity.
Reduce one source of harm.
Set a boundary, step away from a conflict, mute a damaging account, ask for help with a task, or remove one pressure you can control.
Keep a small reason to continue.
It can be very small: a pet, a person, a future meal, a song, a place you want to see, or simply the chance that tomorrow feels different.
Make a safety plan if things feel dangerous.
Move away from anything you could use to hurt yourself, contact someone nearby, and reach out for immediate help.

“Suffering is a dreadful teacher but often the beginning of the best in us.” — Dick Ryan

Conclusion

My conclusion is that suffering is inevitable. It depends on you for how long it lasts. If you are strong willed like me, you can persevere through anything (even mental illnesses). Don’t let anyone keep you down for very long. If they try to enduce suffering, fight them with all the power of your well-being.

Hope is what keeps you fighting through the tough times in this world. We are going through tough times now, but it won’t last forever. We need to rely on one another for support, and to keep each other’s spirits high. Besides, we did it on 9/11, we can do it now.

If you are going through a personal suffering period, know that you can get to higher ground, and see as far as you can see till there’s no end in sight.

Cindee Murphy
“One voice whose suffering ended the day I became proactive instead of reactive.”