The Silent Pain of Being Forgetful

Being forgetful and not knowing the reason why is killing me. I think of something or someone, and the next minute it’s gone. It’s very frustrating to run into someone you know, but can’t place who they are. That happened to me in Walmart. We crossed paths, she said hi, but I couldn’t place where I’ve seen her before. It finally came to me after I left the store.

I also do that number where I walk into a room, and forget what I was there to do or to get. That number has been increasing each week. Everyone has their moments of forgetfulness, but my instances are increasing. Why am I forgetting things?

Could it be dementia? Possibility since my mother had it. I’m seeing a new doctor in June, so I will hopefully have some answers.

“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.”― Friedrich Nietzsche

What is forgetful meaning?

The forgetful meaning refers to someone who often forgets things, has a weak memory, or is careless and not paying attention. It can also describe actions that are absent-minded or neglectful. Common synonyms include absent-minded, negligent, inattentive, and unmindful.

Being forgetful can change your life in so many aspects. I never thought once when I was young about losing my memory, but it is rapidly fading away. My cognitive abilities are facing a real challenge. A battle that I’m afraid I’m losing.

Causes of forgetfulness

There could be many causes of forgetfulness. Here are a few that I think are really important as to why you are being forgetful.

Diseases where you forget things

Common causes

Alzheimer’s disease
A brain disease that slowly worsens memory and thinking.
Dementia
A general term for memory loss and trouble thinking. Alzheimer’s is the most common type.
Stroke
Can damage brain areas that help with memory and language.
Traumatic brain injury
A head injury can cause short-term or long-term memory problems.
Parkinson’s disease
Mainly affects movement, but it can also affect thinking and memory.
Epilepsy
Some seizures, or repeated seizures, can affect memory.
Brain tumors
Depending on the location, they can affect memory and attention.
Multiple sclerosis
Can affect brain function, including memory and focus.
Depression
Can make it hard to concentrate and remember things. This is often called “brain fog.”
Thyroid problems
An underactive thyroid can cause forgetfulness and mental slowing.
Vitamin B12 deficiency
Can lead to memory problems, confusion, and fatigue.
Sleep disorders
Poor sleep, sleep apnea, and chronic sleep loss can affect memory.
Alcohol use disorder
Heavy alcohol use can damage memory over time.
Infections that affect the brain
Examples include encephalitis or meningitis.

Forgetting in old age

I don’t consider myself an old person, but yet I’m showing the symptoms of it. Many things change as you grow old. Your muscles stiffen up, and yes your memories begin to fade. You try to hold onto those that you cherish the most, but even those begin to fade.

If you had told me years ago that I would lose the part of my brain that loves memories this early in life, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am, losing the most precious aspect a person has accumulated throughout their life. Memories are what life is made out of. Forgetting them leaves you with an empty feeling of “why me?”

Being forgetful turns your world upside down. It slowly takes away your independence, and all that life stands for. You start to lean on others because you question your ability to think things through. Those around you can feel a difference in you because you start to drift away from them. Experts say “that’s alright, it’s just aging.” Well, I won’t accept that!

Forgetfulness and menopause

There is a real connection between forgetfulness and menopause. During menopause, estrogen levels drop. Estrogen helps support:

memory
attention
word finding
sleep

When hormone levels change, many women notice:

more forgetfulness
trouble focusing
slower thinking
misplacing things more often
word-finding problems, like knowing what they want to say but not getting the word out

Here are some practical ways to reduce forgetfulness with menopause:

Protect your sleep

Keep a regular sleep schedule
Cut back on caffeine late in the day
Keep your room cool and dark
Try to manage night sweats and hot flashes

2. Keep your brain active

Read
Do puzzles
Learn something new
Stay socially connected

3. Use memory supports

Make things easier to remember:

Use a calender or phone reminders
Keep keys, glasses, and other items in the same place
Make lists for errands or tasks
Break big tasks into small steps

Depression forgetfulness

If you’ve ever suffered from depression, you know forgetfulness is one of the symptoms. I’ve been dealing with depression since I was diagnosed at the age of sixteen. To tell you the truth, my mind as of now has lost a lot of those memories.

I have one memory that has stuck with me all these years. I was standing at the kitchen window looking out, and wondering what my life was going to be years from then. Would I still be fighting myself, and trying to grasp any sense of normalcy in my life? Back then, I was in and out of the hospital.

Now, I can tell myself that I made it through that horrible time, but face a new challenge regarding me rapidly losing certain essential functions of my life. The depression didn’t get me, this new challenge is something I didn’t want to happen. If I have dementia, I’m scared. I saw what it did to my mother, and do not want to lose my mind.

“So much is buried in our lives that we forget what we have learned.”― Harley King

Does anxiety make you forgetful?

Yes, anxiety can make you forgetful. You lose focus on the tasks at hand. You can’t remember details, and it is difficult to learn new information. You’re body is in “fight or flight” mode, so you’re really not focused on anything else.

Anxiety can hijack your mind, and turn it into mush. It plays tricks on you by telling you that you’re in danger when you’re not. It confuses your thoughts, and increases the forgetfulness.

I never thought that anxiety could be so detrimental to my thoughts until I started experiencing it about ten years ago. I was afraid to go places outside of the house. Therefore, I would have panic attacks just at the thought of it. Back then, I started forgetting people’s names. Looking back, I attribute that to the anxiety. My focus was terrible also.

Signs of forgetfulness

Common signs of forgetfulness include asking the same questions over and over, losing track of conversations or appointments, and misplacing things like keys or wallet. Also, struggling with tasks that usually feel familiar. Mild memory slips can happen with age, but ongoing problems with daily life, confusion, or trouble finding your way in places you know well may point to something more serious, like dementia.

Key Symptoms of Memory Loss

Repetition: Asking the same questions or telling the same stories repeatedly.
Disorientation: Losing track of the date, time of year, or getting lost in familiar places.
Communication Gaps: Struggling to find the right words or following conversations.
Misplacing Items: Often putting items in inappropriate places (e.g., keys in the fridge).
Decision-Making Issues: Displaying poor judgment or having trouble managing finances/bills.
Withdrawal: Losing interest in hobbies or social activities.

What is the correlation between forgetting and memory?

Losing memory is far worse than just forgetting something. Like with dementia, you lose blocks of memory, and never get it back. Forgetting means not remembering a person’s name that you just met. Or, overlook a task you were supposed to do. If you forget, sometimes it comes back to you.

If I have the beginning stages of early-onset dementia, I’ve done things that I don’t remember. For example, I saw my doctor, and he mentioned about me stopping my blood thinner which resulted in four blood clots in my lungs. I remember being in the hospital for blood clots, but not me stopping the med. I kept asking myself why would I do that? Honestly, I don’t recall stopping it. It could have killed me.

Losing memories is a part of old age, or so they say. I don’t consider myself old. But losing chunks of memory is scary. How are you supposed to deal with that? It’s not like you can take a magic pill, and everything will be alright. To tell you the truth, I’m scared of what the future holds.

Why am I forgetting names all of a sudden?

When I first started forgetting names, I blamed it on the anxiety. It has steadily become worse. When forgetting names turnes into forgetting what you walked into a room to do, you begin to question you’re sanity. When it happens over and over, you know something isn’t right.

It’s rapidly expanding to an everyday occurance, sometimes multiple times. How do you deal with something like that? I don’t know how to stop it! I’ve seen what dementia can do to a person. I’ve watched them deteriorate rapidly into a shell of themselves. Not recognizing anyone towards the end. Not even being able to speak.

If you believe that is what your destiny looks like, how do you accept that? How do you fight against something that consumes your brain till there is no recognition left? I’m writing this now, but will I remember it in the distant future? Only God knows.

Why do I forget things immediately after thinking of them?

If I had that answer, I would be a millionaire. It happens to me so often now that I make sure that important things are written down, or typed into my phone. The phone is a handy component to have if you’re forgetful. When I make appointments, I put them in my phone right away.

You can also lose your train of thought just as easily. I’m in the middle of a sentence, and forget what I was talking about. Sometimes I remember after a few seconds. There was a glitch in the synapses.

“You know, I always erase everything… And lately, my memory loss is erasing what time hasn’t.”― Rolf van der Wind

Final Thoughts

Being forgetful about some things is normal. But when forgetting stuff easily and often, could mean there is something serious going on. I keep forgetting things, so I’m going to bring it up to my new doctor.

This post isn’t by far to be a pitty post about my problems. It is a look at how forgetting can mean something serious is going on. When it first starts happening, you don’t think anything about it, but if it progresses, start taking it seriously.

As you age, be aware of your cognitive abilities. Take note of any changes. Don’t pass it off as getting older, it might be more serious than that. Be vigilant about your health, and aware of any changes you might be experiencing.

Cindee Murphy
“One voice whose forgetfulness progressively got worse over time.”