There is a long lasting effect of being bullied! I should know…I experienced it in full force. Not only, was I bullied by classmates, but also by my first grade teacher. Now, you’re probably thinking “how can you be bullied by a teacher?” It happened, but at the time (and throughout the years), I thought I WAS THE PROBLEM! I kept trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. To this day, I still don’t like confrontation. You won’t see me arguing with someone. You’re probably thinking, “well, how do you defend yourself?” I don’t, unless I am absolutely, positively know that I am right. If I have proof, I will defend myself with all of my being. Some of us have experienced bullying and don’t even know it. They call bullying “el bullying” in Spanish (it doesn’t discriminate). Bullying happens all over the world, therefore, I think there should be repercussions from it because it is that serious of a problem. It effects the person that was bullied, all throughout their life. With lots of therapy, you can get over it (maybe)!
Bullies In School
The bullies that you sometimes hear about, are the ones in school. In any case, the kids learn from the adults. Therefore, if they get the desired results, they do it over and over again. I was the perfect target in school. I was young and extremely shy. My classmates saw the teacher bullying me and getting away with it, so why not jump on the bandwagon. They bullied me all throughout school. Given that, I couldn’t wait to graduate high school and get away from the other kids. Years later, with lots and lots of therapy, I’m pissed as hell. They had no right to take my childhood from me. Granted, I also feel like I let it happen, but I didn’t know any better. Like I said earlier, I always felt that there was something wrong with me.
Bullied Girl
I’ve often thought, “do girls get bullied more than boys?” So, I looked it up! Here’s your answer: Research on bullying has shown that both boys and girls can experience bullying in school, and it is not necessarily more prevalent in one gender than the other. However, there are some differences in the types of bullying that boys and girls tend to experience.
Research suggests that girls are more likely to experience relational or social bullying, which involves social exclusion, rumors, and other forms of psychological or emotional abuse. Boys are more likely to experience physical bullying, such as hitting, pushing, and other forms of direct aggression. Boys are also more likely to be bullied by other boys, while girls are more likely to be bullied by both boys and girls.
Anti Bullying
Anyone who has been bullied should jump on the wagon of anti bullying. They know how detrimental it can be. If you have never experienced bullying, you must be living under a rock. It is so wide spread from country to country. It doesn’t discriminate, only against you. I think anti bullying should be practiced around the world. It might hit the therapists pocket book, but there are plenty of other issues to talk about. My therapist actually apologized to me, and told me she was sorry that I had to go through that with my teacher. That should have never happened and who knows if she did it to other students (my guess is “why stop with one?”)
The Bully
I was considering how I should do this section of the post and I came up with- if I was doing the bullying, what are my thoughts and perceptions from a bully’s point of view (I’ve always been on the other spectrum). Here goes: If I can get away with it, why not. It makes me look strong and popular. Screw the other person, they don’t matter anyway. My dad does it with my mom, so why can’t I? Given that, he never gets in trouble from it! It makes him look strong and powerful. Obviously, I will be the most popular kid in school. Why should I care about anybody else’s feelings! The only thing that matters is ME! I love this feeling! I should do more and more and never stop. Nothing can hurt me. I am on top of the world right now! I hope that wasn’t too cheezy! Do you ever wonder if they themselves have ever been bullied and just decided to try the other side of the spectrum.
Sometimes being on top of the world isn’t always the best feeling because you just ruined somebody else’s life in doing so. What you think is SO RIGHT, is SO WRONG! I still don’t have enough self love towards myself to move past what happened in the past. Not wanting to put sole blame on you, bully, you f**cked up my life…thanks, but no thanks. The reason I mentioned blame, is because I should have done something to stop it…and I didn’t !
Bullying Statistics
Here are three statistics about bullying:
-According to the National Center for Education Statistics, an estimated 20% of students in the United States, ages 12-18, have experienced bullying.
-A study conducted by the Cyberbullying Research Center found that nearly 34% of students have experienced cyberbullying, which is bullying that takes place through electronic communication like social media, text messages, and instant messaging.
-The same study found that students who are bullied are at an increased risk for a variety of negative outcomes, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts.
Conclusion
If you couldn’t tell, I’m very passionate about bullying because I’ve experienced it first hand growing up. Even with lots and lots of therapy and lots of time, I still don’t think of myself very highly. I remember the bullies screaming at me, so I disappear when someone raises their voice (not even necessarily at me). I doubt I will ever completely get over it. Bullying, amongst other issues, has effected me to this day in a residual manner. If I would have had children, I would have taught them against bullying and to fight for themselves. In any event, don’t let people push you down and then stomp on you over and over because it will seriously hurt you even years from now. Do you ever wonder if their life turned out to be a shit hole just like they were in school. I’ve never wished ill will against anybody, but I hoped their life turned out just as bad as mine. I’m sorry, this is a very sensitive subject with me. Until next time…
Bullying Articles
-Dealing With Bullying
-Consequences Of Bullying Behavior
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK390414/
-Fast Facts: Preventing Bullying
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/youthviolence/bullyingresearch/fastfact.html
-Bullying Statistics
https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/stats.asp
Have a Good One,
Cindee Murphy, One Voice – Unstoppable
“You’re not alone!”
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