Sexual performance anxiety (SPA) refers to the fear or worry about performing sexually and/or being able to “perform” sexually in a way that meets perceived expectations. It can affect both men and women and may manifest in various ways, such as difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection, trouble reaching orgasm, or avoiding sexual encounters altogether.

Anxiety around sex, especially for men, is actually “a thing.” If you feel nervous, anxious or uncomfortable before, during or after sex, you might have a condition known as sexual performance anxiety. Sexual dysfunction might affect you, but did you know it can negatively impact your partner, too? There’s actually research on this. It turns out that ejaculatory dysfunction could increase your and/or your partner’s risk of developing depression.

“By being yourself you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” — Edwin Elliot

Sexual Performance Anxiety Symptoms

People with sexual performance anxiety experience it in different ways, making it essential to look out for all symptoms typically associated with the condition. Signs of anxiety during intercourse may typically include:

• Having little or no interest in engaging in sexual activities
• Premature ejaculation when you have sex
• Being unable to have or sustain an erection
• Finding it difficult to orgasm during sex

Symptoms of SPA, however, look a little different in women. Women with this condition might experience:

• Vaginal dryness
• Difficulty getting aroused
• Experiencing some pain during sex

Causes of Sexual Performance Anxiety

When you are anxious, you typically experience an increase in hormones like norepinephrine and cortisol. An increase in these hormone levels also causes an increase in your blood pressure levels, which could cause a reduction in blood flow to your penis, preventing you from getting or sustaining an erection. Sexual performance anxiety has no single cause. It’s typically caused by a range of biological and psychological factors such as:

Having body image and self-esteem issues. People who are overly concerned about their height, weight, or appearance of particular body parts might experience SPA when they engage in sexual activities.

Feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner. Sometimes you might bring on emotional issues that you might be going through with your partner. 

Dealing with mental health conditions. Depression and generalized anxiety disorder may contribute to SPA.

A lack of sexual experience. People who have less sexual experience might feel some performance anxiety when they first begin to have sex.

Feeling stressed. Stress affects all aspects of our lives, including our sex lives. If you are stressing about work or by some other situation, you could bring on SPA.

Previous negative sexual experiences/trauma. Having had negative sexual experiences in the past, either with your current partner or a former partner can lead to SPA.

Overconsuming pornographic content. This can sometimes give you a false perception of what sex should look and feel like. Research has linked porn to the development of sexual dysfunction.

Sexual performance anxiety can sometimes feed into itself and cause an unfortunate cycle. It starts with a person feeling anxious before sex which affects their performance, and then becoming even more anxious the next time they engage in sexual activity because they were unable to perform the last time.

“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” — Nina Simone

Male Performance Anxiety Solutions

How do you get rid of sexual anxiety? Sometimes, it goes away on it’s own. Other times, you might need CBT or ubat (medicine) for the anxiety.
Erectile dysfunction medications can help with performance anxiety ED by opening your blood vessels and increasing blood flow to the penis before sexual intercourse.

Other ED treatments include:

• Injectable medicines
• Suppositories
• Alternative medicine
• Psychotherapy
• Surgery
• Vacuum devices/penis pumps
• Lifestyle changes

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” — Milton Berle

Coping With Sexual Performance Anxiety

The first step to coping with sexual performance anxiety is removing any shame you might be feeling about not having an optimal sex life. If you have a new sexual partner or where a relationship issue with your partner has been resolved, in some instances, SPA will go away on its own.

People with sexual performance anxiety often operate under the false belief that they are somehow inadequate or incapable of satisfying their partners. Focusing more on your enjoyment and that of your partner instead of how adequate your performance is can help you overcome your anxiety.

To manage sexual performance anxiety, a person can practice being in the moment during sexual experiences, eliminating potential distractions, and focusing on sensations rather than sexual function. While there are no proven treatments for sexual performance anxiety.

Do Mental Health Problems Have an Effect on Sexual Function?

In short, yes. When individuals are experiencing sexual difficulties or sexual dysfunction, they often assume the cause is physical. Certainly, many physical conditions can contribute to sexual dysfunction including diabetes, heart disease, vascular issues, pelvic floor disorders, hormonal imbalances, neurological issues, and other chronic conditions. However, don’t underestimate the role that mental health plays in a person’s sexual function.

Research has consistently shown associations between sexual dysfunction and mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety. Despite the proven association, it is difficult to determine whether mental health issues cause sexual dysfunction, sexual dysfunction causes mental health issues, or there is a bidirectional relationship between the two. That said, the following are some of the ways in which sexual health and mental health may interact.

“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.” — Estée Lauder

Sexual Performance Anxiety Reddit

On Reddit, sexual performance anxiety is often discussed on subreddits related to anxiety, sex, relationships, and mental health. Members of these communities may share their experiences with sexual performance anxiety and offer advice or support to others who are struggling with it. How common is performance anxiety in men and women? In large-scale studies of men and women in the United States and United Kingdom, 6-16% of women and 9-25% of men reported feeling anxious about sexual performance for at least one month over the past year.

Best Medication For Sexual Performance Anxiety

Psychotherapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy is sometimes recommended for the treatment of sexual performance anxiety (SPA). Medication used to treat erectile dysfunction, such as Viagra and Cialis, is sometimes recommended for people who have SPA. While Viagra is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction, its efficacy in addressing the physical aspects of erectile function can indirectly help those dealing with performance anxiety. Additionally, making thoughtful lifestyle choices and consulting healthcare providers about potential health risks, suitable medications, and common side effects related to Viagra should also be taken into consideration.

To find adequate treatment for sexual performance anxiety, more research needs to be done. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and medication have so far proven to be some of the most effective treatments for sexual performance anxiety. Buspirone, bupropion, and trazodone have also shown potential in helping treat symptoms of this type of performance anxiety.

“If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.” — Napoleon Hill

Conclusion

Psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, and sex therapists are all trained experts who can provide advice on how to manage mental health conditions and mitigate the negative effects they may have on sexual health. Courses are now offering cognitive-behavioral techniques, mindfulness, and meditation. Many individuals find yoga and deep breathing practices to be beneficial for their mental health. Regardless of the type of support or treatment you choose, it is important to address mental health issues not only for your sexual health, but also for your overall well-being.

Articles

-Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

https://www.verywellhealth.com/sexual-performance-anxiety-5204649

-Overcoming sexual performance anxiety

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320574

-What Is Sexual Performance Anxiety?

https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/performance-anxiety

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy, One Voice – Unstoppable

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”— Norman Vincent Peale