Every Tear Tells a Story: The Deeper Meaning of Grieving

So, what is the meaning of grieving? Grieving is the emotional process of experiencing and expressing sorrow or sadness, typically in response to a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or other major life changes

You grieve for a family member. You grieve for a family pet. Also, you grieve for a friend. Although, grieving is not for just living things. It can be for any of life changing circumstances. I grieved for the last cat of three that I had adopted. He passed away on March 16, 2023. I’m still grieving. I miss him very much.

There’s an importance of grieving. If you hold those feelings in, you will create inner turmoil. I did that once, and I felt like a pressure cooker, I could have exploded at any second. I tend to hold a lot of feelings in, but I’m learning how to express myself. As I was growing up, I was taught to keep my feelings to myself. I was better off (not exactly).

Grief, Loss of a Parent

The meaning of grieving is when someone you love dies, you feel like you can’t go on living. How are you going to live without them, especially if it’s a parent. You recount all the terrible things you’ve done to them and ask for their forgiveness from the afterlife. You just can’t believe that they are gone. A waterfall is streaming done your face, and you don’t know when it will stop (seems like never).

I have a father who just had a birthday a couple of days ago. He sometimes has touble getting around, but for the most part he is independent. When he leaves this earth, I will very much be at a loss. He has helped me grow into a beautiful human being. I have learned so much in the last six years of living here, than my whole life.

Tough Love

Through some tough love, he has helped me to straighten out my finances. He has helped me out by giving me his car, when I didn’t have one. And he has kept up the maintenance on it, becuase I couldn’t afford to. What I’m getting at Is I love him very much for that, so I cherish every moment I have with him until the end.

There is going to come a time when I will be in that grieving space. I don’t wish for it to come, but it will. And there is nothing I can do about it. So, I will go through the grieving process. My mother passed away in ’07, but I was in my own little world at that time. I really didn’t grieve for her. Maybe it’s time. Not coping with it, just left a void in my heart

Stages of Grief Meaning

There are different stages in the meaning of grieving. The stages of grieving are often described using the Five Stages of Grief model. These stages represent common emotional responses to loss, though not everyone experiences them in the same order or intensity. They are:

Denial: A state of shock or disbelief, where the loss feels unreal. People may struggle to accept what has happened.
Anger: Feelings of frustration, anger, or even blame directed at oneself, others, or the situation.
Bargaining: Attempting to regain control or make sense of the loss by thinking “what if” or “if only” scenarios, or making promises to change things.
Depression: Deep sadness and reflection as the reality of the loss sets in. This stage often involves withdrawal and intense emotional pain.
Acceptance: Coming to terms with the loss and finding a way to move forward, even if the pain remains.

It’s important to note that grief is not direct, and people may revisit stages or experience them differently. Everyone’s grieving process is unique.

Grief and Anxiety

During grieving, it can be an intense time. In the meaning of grieving, you can be anxious about how you are going to live your life without them. Life will mean absolutely nothing, you may think in the beginning. You may even deny that they have passed away. Life is going to be so drastically different, how are you supposed to cope?

I’m all too familiar with anxiety and how it can distort your view of situations. Anxiety is not your friend. Years back it was good to have for the “flight or fight” situation, but now, it has morphed into a sense of it being there all the time. There is insomnia because of it. More and more meds are being used to combat it. Anxiety can be a lonely existence in the grieving process.

Anxiety in Itself

The future is uncertain, and it’s hard to trust the process of grieving even though we may have been through it before. It never get’s any easier no matter how many times you go through it. Some say it beats your soul into the ground. But, yet others deal with grieving and move on. How do they do it? Because, they don’t live with anxiety on a daily basis.

Most aspects of anxiety is the enemy, but how do you overcome it.? With a lot of patience (just like the grieving process). You have to be proactive, not just sit on the sidelines hoping it will get better. You have to fight with all your might, because it is a strong opponent, and doesn’t give up easily. But in the end, I know you’ll win.

Depression Guilt

In the meaning of grieving, sometimes there is guilt. The emotional impact of grief can be devastating. Guilt can overpower you, because you’re still alive and they’re not. You would give anything to trade places. Maybe you could have done something different, and they would still be alive today. Guilt is a very powerful emotion. It might make you do things that you normally wouldn’t do.

You might pray to God (or whatever your religious beliefs are) to take you, intead of them. It might turn into begging. Sometimes it turns to anger at your higher power. You don’t understand how he could take someone that meant so much to you. But, back to guilt. You may think that they were much more that you could ever be, and that God took the wrong person.

Grieving for Animals

Same thing with animals. I know when I lost my first cat, Eddie, I felt guilty in a different way. He was clearly showing signs of nearing the end of his life. I actually told hime one day “don’t you dare die on me!” He just looked at me, clearly suffering. When I finally put him down, I was immersed in guilt, because he suffered. He couldn’t control his bowels anymore. I put myself first before even considering that he was suffering.

Grief Theory

In the meaning of grieving, there is Grief Theory. It refers to the various psychological frameworks and models developed to understand how people experience and process grief after a loss. These theories aim to explain the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral responses to grief and provide insights into how individuals cope and heal. Some of the most well-known grief theories include:

Kübler-Ross Model (Five Stages of Grief): This theory outlines five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that people may go through when grieving. It was originally developed to describe the emotional journey of terminally ill patients but has since been applied more broadly to grief and loss.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning: This model suggests that grieving involves completing four tasks:
- Accepting the reality of the loss.
- Processing the pain of grief.
- Adjusting to a world without the deceased.
- Finding a way to maintain a connection with the deceased while moving forward.
Dual Process Model of Grief: This theory emphasizes the balance between two types of coping:
- Loss-oriented coping: Focusing on the pain and emotions of the loss.
- Restoration-oriented coping: Focusing on adjusting to life and rebuilding after the loss.
Continuing Bonds Theory: This approach suggests that maintaining a connection with the deceased (e.g., through memories or rituals) is a healthy and natural part of grieving, rather than “letting go” entirely.
Attachment Theory and Grief: Based on the work of John Bowlby, this theory explains grief as a response to the disruption of an attachment bond. The intensity of grief often reflects the strength of the attachment.

Each theory offers a unique perspective, and grief is highly individual, meaning no single model fits everyone. These frameworks are often used in counseling and therapy to support people through their grieving process.

Remembering a Loved One

The meaning of grieving is remembering a loved one or a pet in a way to keep their spirit alive. Keep photos of them when you want to reminiscence. Don’t let their memory die. I remember watching a TikTok video and this 27 year old man is crying because he is the only one left in his family that is still alive. He had two siblings that passed away young and his mother passed away from cancer. I don’t remember what happened to his dad.

But he just wanted to let the world know that if something happened to him, he would have a video to let people know he was here, that he existed. He felt so alone in life because all his family had passed away. The fear was so strong that no one would know that he existed, so he made a video to the world to say “I was here.”

Remembering them will not only keep their memory alive, but it will help you too. You can still feel like you’re close to them. You can still love them even though they are not physically with you. Spiritually, they will always be beside you.

Finding Meaning in Grief

We always like to find meaning in everything that happens. So, finding your meaning in grief is essentially a look at your abilities to handle grief. Are you going through the stages of grief, or are you stuck in one. Why do we grieve? It helps to put closure to a chapter of your life.

There are many chapters to your life that need to be examined, some grieving over, and then closed to open up another chapter. Life just simply goes on and you don’t want to be left behind.

I know, for me, I’m pretty much done grieving for my last cat and looking to welcome two more into my new chapter. I will never forget Bee (my last cat), but it’s time to welcome two more kitties into my life. Simply put, life goes on.

Dealing With Grief Emotions

Everyone deals with grief emotions in there own way. But you do need to go through the different stages of grief. It doesn’t matter if you spend more time in one than another. My hardest part is getting over the anger. I used to think the world was unfair and full of injustice. So, I viewed the world through one lens, when there are many. I also mostly thought my view was the correct one, but have learned that that is not true.

Growing Up

Not that I thought I was right all the time, I just couldn’t see life any different than what I wanted to see. Growing up, I was taught to shut down emotions (including grieving), and hide them so nobody could hurt me. Who needs grieving, that’s for babies. But I learned over the years that it is OK to show emotions and grieve for things that I had lost.

Nowadays, I’m free of that self-serve idiocy that you shouldn’t grieve. I began to feel like I was a part of the world again, instead of hiding from it. So my advice to you is this, don’t hide, express yourself. The world is a much better place with you in it.

How to Cope With Grief

The meaning of grieving can be a personal experience that involves sadness, pain, and other emotions.

Accept your feelings: Allow yourself to cry and express your emotions.
Practice self-care: Get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise.
Talk to others: Talk about your loved one with friends and family, or join a grief support group.
Be patient: Don’t compare your grief to others, and try not to make big changes right away.
Seek professional help: Consider talking to a counselor or your doctor.

How to support someone who is grieving:

Listen: Encourage them to talk about their loved one, and listen without interrupting.
Offer practical help: Offer to help with errands, write thank-you notes, or accompany them to appointments.
Be present: Respect their process and avoid making assumptions.

What to avoid while grieving: Ruminating on the past, Idealizing the person or situation, Withdrawing from others, and Relying on alcohol or drugs.

Sum It All Up

To sum it all up, you must grieve! It’s due process. You’ll live in a world that is meaninglesss if you don’t feel. It maybe hard to go through, but it helps you when death happens. I know that one of these days my dad will pass, and I will go through that process once again. I hope he knows that I love him very much, and that he has instilled in me so much resilience, so that I could survive life. Even through the tough times.

To not grieve, is to not feel. You have to go through the bad with the good emotions. That’s how you grow and become the strongest person you can be. You don’t have to act tough in front of other people, you just have to feel. It shows you’re human.

The meaning of grieving is losing a part of your life with someone. It may not be the most enthusiastic thing to do, but it must be done to move on with life. If you’re stuck in the no grief zone, let that waterfall flow. You’ll be surprised at what you have been holding back and then released. So, go on grieve now, you’ll thank yourself later. Peace and always love. Until next time…

Articles About Meaning of Grieving

Coping with Grief and Loss

What does grief feel like?

Strategies and Tips for Grieving

How to Help When a Loved One is Grieving

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy
“One Voice In Sadness”

“Grieving is like ocean waves. Some days, the water is calm. Other days, it crashes over you.” – Unknown

“Healing from grief isn’t about forgetting. It’s about honoring their memory and carrying their love forward.” – Unknown

“Sometimes, we need to sit quietly with our pain to understand the depth of our love.” – Unknown

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“Grieving is the heart’s way of expressing love that no longer has a place to go.” – Unknown

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