Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I do. Schizophrenia is a learning experience, I’ll tell you that. I’ve been “sober” for seven months. Meaning I haven’t had an episode in that long.

Doctors say that as you age, the hallucinations and delusions become less. Finally, some good news about schizo.

Although, they say you have a shorter lifespan than those without schizophrenia. And I was just getting excited about the good news.

So, let’s get into the task at hand, do schizophrenics remember the episodes that they have?

Remembering Episodes

I remember most episodes that I have had. They started out so normal and then it became a destination to irritate me.

Meaning, “they” were intentionally trying to irritate me. I know now that there was no they, but they seemed very real at the time.

All the noises and voices I thought I heard were real to me at the time. I remember yelling out the window of my apartment at one point.

I also remember irritating my neighbors so much that they lived above me and kept banging on the floor.

Understanding Schizophrenia

Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I specifically remember the first two vividly. I believe you have to experience schizophrenia to completely understand it.

Not that I wish it upon anyone. In a sense it’s hard to describe.

If you remember the episodes like they were yesterday, then you could describe it in the story of a delusion.

I still don’t know how or why the delusions start. For me, it usually starts because of something stressful in my life.

I’ve had two divorces and the delusions started not too long after them. I believe I just felt like I was unlovable, that there was something disgusting about me.

Why do I repell everyone? Notice I included everyone and not just men. It’s that all or nothing inclusion. Then I ask myself, why me?

Why am I the unlucky one? Genetics. My mother had schizophrenia and I got to see it in full force towards the end of her life. So, that is what I have to look forward to.

First Episode

This one started the ball rolling. This is the one where I yelled out the windows. I believed there was a gang trying to kill me.

Therefore, I didn’t hardly leave my apartment. I didn’t dare go to the grocery store, but I did go to Subway across the street from me once.

I believed they were trying to kill me by crawling through the vents and spreading this powder that would suffocate me. Therefore, I taped cardboard over the vents.

I had the fire department there a few times and one of them asked me about the cardboard. I also remember actually being embarassed.

So there were some “real” feelings mixed in with the delusions. My delusion also included the police that sometimes camped outside of my apartment building.

I couldn’t tell if they were friendly or foe. All in all, I thought maybe they were just trying to lure me out of my apartment.

I believe that delusion went on for about a year, almost the whole time I spent there.

I believe the stress from my divorce is what started it and I wasn’t on any good meds that were helping me with the depression.

Second Episode

The second episode was in another apartment. I believed the neighbors on the other side of my bedroom wall were just trying to irritate me (again, irritating).

Every little noise I heard made me cringe. The scratching the walls and the whispering were really getting to me. They would laugh about what they said.

The kicker is, next to my bedroom wall was the boiler room. One day when I was going to go get the mail, the door to the room was open and there sat a boiler.

My world crumbled at that point. I became severly depressed for quite a while. All those noises I thought I heard were just from a boiler.

Wow, how the mind can play tricks on us. I left that apartment and moved in with my boyfriend, and the delusions stopped at that point for five years.

Genetic Causes of Schizophrenia

Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I don’t remember the ones that affected me the least. Like I said genetics played a role in me experiencing schizophrenia.

Although, after experiencing it, I vowed I would never have any children.

Overall, I didn’t want to pass along a gene that can destroy your life. Actually I should say it can destroy your life if you let it.

Hence, I have just learned to live with it even though parts of my life is seeing things that aren’t there or believing in situations that aren’t true.

I’m thriving right now because I haven’t had a delusion in seven months. I feel like my old self again. I feel like celebrating.

First Signs of Schizophrenia

The first signs of schizophrenia can vary from person to person, but common early symptoms may include:

1. Social Withdrawal: A noticeable decline in social interactions, avoiding friends and family.
2. Changes in Thinking: Difficulty concentrating, unusual thoughts, or a decline in academic or work performance.
3. Perceptual Disturbances: Otherwise, hearing voices or experiencing other sensory perceptions that are not present (hallucinations).
4. Paranoia: Increased feelings of suspicion or mistrust of others.
5. Emotional Blunting: Reduced expression of emotions or difficulty in experiencing pleasure.
6. Disorganized Speech: In other words, incoherent or nonsensical speech patterns, making it hard to communicate effectively.
7. Changes in Behavior: Unusual or erratic behavior that seems out of character.
8. Neglect of Personal Hygiene: A decline in self-care and personal grooming.

I didn’t have any friends or saw my family much, so the first signs of being noticed by others was nonexistant.

Although, I did notice that my hygiene went downhill and that paranoia started creeping in.

High Functioning Schizophrenia Symptoms

Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I remember the more prominent ones. Symptoms of high-functioning schizophrenia can include:

• Positive symptoms These symptoms add to your personality and are not present before the condition. They include:
  • Hallucinations, such as seeing, hearing, smelling, or tasting things that aren’t there  
  • Delusions, such as having strong beliefs in things that aren’t true  
  • Disorganized thoughts and speech  
  • Atypical motor behavior  
• Negative symptoms In sum, these symptoms refer to deficits in functioning. They include:
  • Social withdrawal  
  • Flat affect, or appearing emotionless  
  • Low motivation for routine activities  
  • Speaking and communicating less  
• Cognitive symptoms Specifically, these symptoms include challenges with focus, decision making, memory, and learning.  
• Other symptoms These include:
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness and identity disruption  
  • Difficulty regulating emotions  
  • Difficulty with stress management  
  • Fear of abandonment  
  • Impulsive behaviors, such as reckless spending or substance abuse  
  • Self-harming tendencies or suicidal thoughts  

Symptoms of high-functioning schizophrenia can be less intense or obvious to others, but they can still impact daily life.

Dormant Schizophrenia

Yes, schizophrenia can be dormant and not manifest until triggered by an event. This is called latent schizophrenia. 

Some possible triggers for schizophrenia include:

• Emotional events, such as trauma
• Circumstantial events, such as a chronic illness or autoimmune disease  

The exact cause of schizophrenia is not fully understood, but scientists believe genetics and external factors may play a role. 

Drug Treatment for Schizophrenia

Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I remember those that embarrassed me.

The primary drug treatment for schizophrenia is antipsychotic medication. There are two main types of antipsychotics: 

• First-generation antipsychotics. Also known as typical antipsychotics, these include:
  • Chlorpromazine (Thorazine)
  • Fluphenazine (Prolixin)
  • Haloperidol (Haldol)
  • Perphenazine (Trilafon)
  • Thioridazine (Mellaril)
  • Trifluoperazine (Stelazine)
• Second-generation antipsychotics. Also known as atypical antipsychotics, these include:
  • Aripiprazole (Abilify)
  • Asenapine (Saphris)
  • Cariprazine (Vraylar)
  • Clozapine (Clozaril)
  • Iloperidone (Fanapt)
  • Lurasidone (Latuda)
  • Olanzapine (Zyprexa)
  • Paliperidone (Invega)
  • Quetiapine (Seroquel)
  • Risperidone (Risperdal)
  • Ziprasidone (Geodon)  

Atypical antipsychotics are usually the first choice for treating schizophrenia because they have a lower risk of certain serious side effects than first-generation antipsychotics. 

However, they can still cause side effects such as dry mouth, dizziness, blurred vision, and seizures.

I take Olanzapine. So far, I haven’t had any problems with it. It helps me fall asleep at night which is really helpful.

Ginkgo Biloba For Schizophrenia

Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I remember those that lasted longer.

One of the newest and exciting areas of research on the treatment of schizophrenia is the use of Ginkgo biloba in combination with standard anti-psychotic drugs

Among Ginkgo’s many properties is that it functions as an antioxidant. I just started taking it about a month ago. We’ll see because I have the movements.

High levels of free radicals have been observed in people with schizophrenia, leading to the theory that treatment with antioxidants (which reduce free radicals) such as Ginkgo would be helpful. 

While still in the early stages of research, it appears that Ginkgo biloba enhances the effectiveness of anti-psychotic medications and may reduce motor control-related side effects.

These side effects produce movement disorders such as tardive dyskinesia (involuntary movement of the arms, legs or fingers).

Also, other uncontrollable movements such as grimacing and lip smacking), and are usually the result of long-term use of anti-psychotic medications.

Famous People Who Have Schizophrenia

Several notable individuals have lived with schizophrenia, contributing to public awareness and understanding of the condition. Some of these individuals include:

• John Nash: An American mathematician and Nobel laureate, Nash’s life and struggles with schizophrenia were portrayed in the film “A Beautiful Mind.”
• Vincent van Gogh: The famous Dutch painter is believed to have experienced symptoms of mental illness, including schizophrenia, though his exact diagnosis remains a topic of debate.
• Sylvia Plath: The renowned poet and author struggled with mental health issues, and her writings often reflect her experiences with depression and psychosis.
• David Bowie: The iconic musician spoke about his experiences with mental health issues, including symptoms that may have been related to schizophrenia.
• Mary Todd Lincoln: Also, the wife of President Abraham Lincoln experienced significant mental health challenges, including symptoms consistent with schizophrenia.
• Eugène Ionesco: The Romanian-French playwright, known for his contributions to the Theater of the Absurd, dealt with mental health issues throughout his life.

Sum It All Up

Do schizophrenics remember their episodes? I remember most of them.

Although I’ve had other delusions, the ones I mentioned earlier were the first two that I’ve had. They are forever engrained in my memory.

I can describe the hallucinations and delusions to you, but you’ll never understand the full affect unless you experience it yourself.

And, just because I have schizophrenia, doesn’t mean that that explains everything. I get that all the time when I say I have it.

It’s a part of me, not the whole part. People assume that you’re out of control because of it. No, I have feelings just like everyone else and those feelings can be hurt by assumptions.

So, the next time you meet a schizophrenic, know that they are real human beings with some extra baggage. Peace and always love. Until next time…

Articles About Schizophrenia

Health benefits of Gingko biloba

What Is Latent Schizophrenia?

High-Functioning Schizophrenia: Diagnosis, Symptoms & Treatment

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy
“One Voice Speaking For Schizophrenia”

“One of the central difficulties of living with schizophrenia is the inability to anchor oneself in one’s own body.”— Esmé Weijun Wang

“It started carefully and gradually, and I almost didn’t notice. It was like a nice summer day when the fog slowly creeps over the sky.”— Arnhild Lauveng

“As well as being one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, schizophrenia can also be one of the richest learning and humanizing experiences life offers.”— Mark Vonnegut

“Perhaps we are the real experts in schizophrenia. Ask us. Involve us. Acknowledge us. We can offer hope to others who are trapped in the snares of this illness. We can show a light on the path toward recovery.”— Andrew Dugmore

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