Borderline Personality Disorder: Building Bridges to Understanding

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding is the key to a successful life.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) ICD 10, or in simpliar terms- emotionally unstable personality disorder ICD 10, could have been prevelant in my younger years.

Basically, my childhood was very unstable. Being constantly bullied (even by 1st grade teacher) started the ball rolling. I was constantly told how ignorant and insignificant I was.

My family never knew about this because I thought it was something I was doing wrong. I blamed myself for not being smart enough.

I had difficulty speaking in complete sentences. Also, I had real anger issues. I once swung at my brother with an aluminum bat using all of my strength. Hence the nickname “Biff.”

Not only was I mad at myself, but I was mad at the world around me. How could people be so mean? I grew up hating myself and everything I stood for…nothing.

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding helps those with BPD to fit in society.

I’m going to get technical for a second (pardon me). The ICD-10-CM diagnosis code for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is F60.3. 

The ICD-10 provides guidelines for clinicians to diagnose BPD, and some of the criteria include: 

  • Firstly, Impulsive behavior: This can include reckless driving, substance misuse, self-harm, and excessive spending 
  • Unstable relationships: This can include alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation 
  • Dissociative symptoms: This can include feelings of being cut off from oneself, or observing oneself from outside one’s body 
  • Intense moods: This can include intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety 
  • Lastly, Chronic feelings of emptiness: This can be a characteristic of BPD 

Characterizing Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) by a range of symptoms that can significantly impact an individual’s emotional well-being and relationships.

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding is to know the symptoms.

Individuals with BPD often experience extreme mood swings and intense emotions, including feelings of anger, depression, and anxiety.

Accordingly, I fit in with all 3 feelings, but I mainly directed it towards myself. I never felt significant enough to matter to the world. I was obsolete.

There is often a pervasive fear of being abandoned or rejected, which can lead to frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined separation.

It seemed like everyone I turned to abandoned me. They left my life without a care in the world.

So I stopped telling others how I felt. It didn’t matter, they would just leave anyway.

Relationships may be intense and unstable, swinging from idealization (seeing someone as perfect) to devaluation (seeing them as worthless).

There were some persons that I saw as perfect, but I overcompensated the relationship and they left.

Hence, that’s a lot of leaving in my lifetime. I’m still getting it today with my so-called family.

Individuals may have an unstable self-image or sense of self, leading to confusion about their identity and values.

I didn’t have an identity because I didn’t want to exist. Furthermore, I might as well have been dead to everyone. I also have no values because I don’t want to exist.

There can be impulsive actions in areas such as spending, substance abuse, reckless driving, or unsafe sexual practices. My impulsive behavior showed up in spending.

I take after my mother. Like mother, like daughter. I guess that’s how my family sees me. Therefore, it’s a shame they don’t include me in family gatherings because of this.

Some individuals may engage in self-injurious behaviors or have suicidal thoughts and actions. I self-harmed starting in my mid-teens.

I hid it for a while, then I didn’t care anymore. However, I always thought “the physical pain outweighs the emotional pain.” The emotional pain was so heavy, I couldn’t take it.

I’ve since stopped about 10 years ago. I don’t know what made me stop, I just did. Maybe I grew out of it. Thus, it fulfilled it’s purpose.

Many with BPD report feeling empty or hollow inside, leading to a persistent sense of dissatisfaction. Besides, I always felt empty inside. Sometimes I do to this day.

Especially when my family leaves me high and dry out of social functions. Make my validation that I don’t exist-at least in their eyes.

Intense anger or difficulty controlling anger is common, which can result in frequent outbursts or physical fights. Yes, I’m angry right now.

My niece is moving to California and I was conveniently left out of the going-away party. Wouldn’t that piss you off. Contrarily, it makes you feel like I don’t exist. My validation on that feeling.

Under stress, individuals may experience transient paranoia or dissociative symptoms, feeling disconnected from themselves or their surroundings.

I feel disconnected from everything and everyone! I don’t want anyone in my life anymore. I’m done with that. You don’t treat me like a person with feelings, f*ck you! I only want the people who actually care about me.

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding how it affects the personal lives of those with BPD.

I have become disconnected with people because they either leave me, or they choose to ignore me. Equally, which is in a sense leaving me.

I didn’t ask for this life. I didn’t ask to be born. Better off if I hadn’t been. I often ask God why I’m still around if all I get is emotionally beat up? I guess that’s just life.

Consequently, I can’t wait till I move and have my own little family with my cats. Nobody else. As far as I’m concerned, my so-called family is written off.

I’ve had enough from them. Therefore, I don’t need to take anymore abuse. I won’t feel alone anymore once I get my cats. They are going to be my whole world.

I consider myself a high-functioning borderline personality disorder person. Emphatically, I’ve held down jobs for long periods of time until the anxiety showed up.

I was so afraid of making a mistake that I would get yelled at. Then the Parkinson’s entered into the picture and ended my working career.

I taught myself how to set up this blog and I am continually learn new aspects of writing posts. The one few things left that I enjoy is writing these posts.

I still have a few setbacks, but I consider myself high-functioning. I’ve come this far along with the other mental illnesses, I’m not going to give up now.

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding and contributing to their life.

Yes, people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be highly intelligent, and some are even considered geniuses. 

In fact, some research suggests that linking BPD to above-average intelligence (IQ > 130) is possible.

People with BPD can also be highly intuitive and have a strong sense of empathy. 

Consequently, They may be able to sense the emotions of others, and even pick up on emotions that others are unaware of. 

This ability can be a gift, but it can also make it difficult for them to navigate social situations. 

  • Boldness: Impulsivity is linking to boldness, courage, and the ability to speak one’s mind.
  • Creativity: The intensity of their emotions can be channeled into creative endeavors like art, music, writing, and performance. 

However, BPD is a serious mental health condition that can cause significant distress and impairment in relationships and work. 

People with BPD may have low self-esteem, impulsive behaviors, and unstable relationships. 

They may also have difficulty regulating their emotions and managing attachment relationships. 

Subsequently, people with borderline personality disorder can have a variety of eye-related characteristics, including: 

  • Manic eyes: Firstly, An intense gaze that can be associated with heightened emotions like rage, agitation, or excitement. This symptom is not always present, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person has a manic or bipolar disorder. 
  • Empty eyes: A vacant or detached appearance that can be a result of emotional dysregulation. Additionally, this can be a protective shield against the intense emotions that people with BPD experience. 
  • Prolonged eye contact: People with BPD may hold intense eye contact during emotional periods. 
  • Avoidance of eye contact: In addition, people with BPD may avoid eye contact during emotional withdrawal. 
  • Larger pupils: Lastly, an eye-tracking study found that people with BPD have larger pupils than controls. 
  • Intense angry outbursts
  • Suicidal thoughts and self-harm
  • Also, going to great lengths to feel something, then becoming increasingly avoidant and withdrawn

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding so the person with BPD can feel like a whole person.

The “stare” is a piercing and intense gaze that’s sometimes reported by people with Borderline Personality Disorder. 

It’s a lesser-known symptom of BPD and can be a sign of emotional dysregulation, but it’s not a diagnostic criterion. 

The “dark side” of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often refers to the more challenging and distressing aspects of the disorder that can affect both individuals with BPD and those around them.

Individuals with BPD can experience intense emotions that may feel overwhelming and difficult to manage. At length, this emotional instability can lead to significant distress and can affect daily functioning.

The impulsivity associated with BPD can manifest in risky behaviors such as substance abuse, reckless driving, unsafe sexual practices, or self-harm.

Certainly, these actions can have serious consequences for the individual’s health and relationships.

Relationships can be tumultuous due to the fear of abandonment and intense emotional reactions.

This can lead to cycles of idealization and devaluation, causing significant strain on friendships and romantic relationships.

Individuals with BPD may engage in self-harming behaviors or have suicidal thoughts.

This self-destructive tendency can be a way to cope with emotional pain but can lead to serious physical and psychological harm.

Many individuals with BPD report persistent feelings of emptiness or boredom, which can lead to a search for fulfillment through unhealthy means, such as toxic relationships or substance use.

Intense anger and difficulty controlling it can lead to conflicts and aggressive behaviors, which can alienate friends and family and create a cycle of isolation.

Under stress, individuals may experience paranoid thoughts or dissociative episodes, feeling disconnected from reality or themselves.

Thus, this can lead to confusion and further emotional distress.

Consequently, the stigma surrounding BPD can lead to misunderstandings about the disorder, causing individuals to feel isolated or judged.

This societal perception can exacerbate feelings of shame and inadequacy. (My so-called family should read this one.)

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding has a profound impact on their lives.

The challenges faced by individuals with BPD can also take a toll on family members and friends, who may feel overwhelmed, confused, or helpless in trying to support their loved one.

While these aspects can be quite challenging, it’s important to remember that individuals with BPD can also experience moments of clarity, growth, and healing.

With appropriate treatment, support, and coping strategies, many people with BPD can lead fulfilling lives and develop healthier relationships.

Indeed, narcissists and people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be attracted to each other for a number of reasons, including: 

Forthwith,bBoth groups are often in the early stages of learning how to maintain intimate relationships. 

They may both be able to form intense romantic attachments quickly, without fully considering the other person’s personality. 

Furthermore, each personality type can fulfill the other’s needs, helping them play out their own dramas. 

For example, a person with BPD may be drawn to a narcissist’s confidence, which they may see as something they lack themselves.

By the same token, a narcissist may be drawn to the attention a person with BPD gives them. 

The two personality types can seem like polar opposites, with their positive and negative charges attracting each other. 

People with BPD may have intense emotions and a strong desire for intimacy, which can be appealing to others. 

However, the shared intimacy level of a relationship between a person with BPD and a narcissist can lead to conflict over time.

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding is best for the family and the individual with BPD.

You can still function in so-called “society” while having borderline personality disorder. I may have shortcomings that may be considered “not normal”, but I’m still able live my life.

Borderline personality disorder: building bridges to understanding Just because some people don’t want to associate with me, screw them. Out of all I’ve had to deal with, I think I’m in the right state at this point.

My anxiety is gone. Therefore, I feel more at ease with myself. But some people think whatever they feel like thinking. They just won’t be a part of my life anymore. I’m done!

Yes, I’m mad because my so-called family is trying to be so secretive behind my back. This has happened more than once. It gets tiresome.

Well, I hope I didn’t rant and rave too much. I’m sorry if I did. Like I said in a previous post, my emotions come out in these posts sometimes. Peace be with you. Until next time…

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9762-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/experiences-of-bpd

https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/most-accurate-article-on-bpd-we-have-recently-read-kudos

Bipolar vs BPD: Exploring the Unique Characteristics(Opens in a new browser tab)

Intrusive Thoughts(Opens in a new browser tab)

How To Deal With Anxiety and Anger Disorder(Opens in a new browser tab)

Echoes of Anguish: The Duality of Depression and Anger(Opens in a new browser tab)

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61556286067268

https://www.pinterest.com/cindee0045/

Leave a Reply

About Me

Hi, I’m Cindee, the creator and author behind one voice in the vastness of emotions. I’ve been dealing with depression and schizophrenia for three decades. I’ve been combating anxiety for ten years. Mental illnesses have such a stigma behind them that it gets frustrating. People believe that’s all you are, but you’re so much more. You can strive to be anything you want without limitations. So, be kind.

>

Discover more from One Voice In The Vastness Of Emotions

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading