The deep impact of trauma meaning through the lens of PTSD. “Why am I being picked on by my teacher when I didn’t do anything wrong?” I thought this as I was pulled out of my desk by my hair. This happened over and over, and she told my parents that I wasn’t socially developing, so she held me back. I had to go through that torture another year. That’s where my PTSD began…as a little kid. Forty some years later, I’m still dealing with it.
Acute stress can come from emotional trauma. My stress was always trying to please people because of my teacher. I thought that satisfying everyone would make them happy. So began my journey of being a people pleaser.
Emotional trauma occurs when someone faces a deeply distressing event that’s overwhelming to cope with. It can result from abuse, neglect, loss, or witnessing violence. Trauma may cause anxiety, depression, flashbacks, emotional numbness, and difficulty building relationships. It can have lasting effects on mental and emotional health, shaping thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
“Do I Have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?”
To find out whether you suffer from PTSD, there is a simple test to take. I found out when all these repressed memories came bubbling to the surface. So now I know why I fear people, don’t like conflicts, and cringe when someone gets angry. Here is your PTSD test.
The Discovery of PTSD
The impact of trauma through the lens of PTSD is something we’ve come to understand much better over time. PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, was officially recognized in 1980 when it was added to the DSM-III by the American Psychiatric Association. But the truth is, the symptoms of PTSD have been around for centuries—they just went by different names back then.
In the past, similar symptoms were called “soldier’s heart” during the American Civil War, “shell shock” in World War I, and “combat fatigue” in World War II. These terms show how trauma-related symptoms were understood in military settings before PTSD was officially recognized.
Symptoms of Trauma
Trauma can manifest in various physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms. Associating with trauma, here are some common symptoms:
- Emotional Symptoms:
- Anxiety and fear
- Anger or irritability
- Sadness or depression
- Emotional numbness or detachment
- Cognitive Symptoms:
- Confusion or difficulty concentrating
- Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks
- Memory problems
- Negative thoughts about oneself or the world
- Physical Symptoms:
- Fatigue or exhaustion
- Insomnia or nightmares
- Startling easy
- Physical aches and pains
- Behavioral Symptoms:
- Avoidance of reminders of the trauma
- Withdrawal from friends and activities
- Changes in appetite
- Substance abuse
These symptoms can vary widely from person to person, and may appear immediately after the traumatic event or much later.
Stages of PTSD
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) typically progresses through several stages, although the experience can vary greatly from person to person. Often associating with PTSD, here are the general stages:
Impact or Emergency Stage
Trauma can have a deep impact, especially when viewed through the lens of PTSD. Right after a traumatic event, people often go through an initial stage of shock, confusion, and intense fear. Physical reactions like a racing heartbeat or sweating are also pretty common during this time.
Denial or Numbing Stage
At this stage, people might try to avoid thinking about the trauma. They might feel emotionally numb, disconnected from reality, or even in denial about how the event has affected them.
Intrusive or Re-experiencing Stage
At this stage, people might have intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, or nightmares about the traumatic event. These re-experiencing symptoms can be really upsetting and may cause increased anxiety.
Hyperarousal Stage
People might feel constantly on edge, get startled easily, and stay overly alert. Trouble sleeping, irritability, and difficulty focusing are also pretty common at this stage.
Avoidance Stage
People might go out of their way to avoid anything that reminds them of the trauma—like certain places, people, or activities linked to the event. This can sometimes lead to pulling back socially and struggling with everyday tasks.
Recovery Stage
With the right treatment and support, people can start to work through their trauma and make it a part of their life story. This process includes dealing with emotions, building coping skills, and slowly getting back to their usual activities.
Support is the key, it’s one of the best ways to deal with trauma. I’m basically going through the motions by myself, so it’s a slow go. I don’t know which direction to turn since I don’t have a therapist anymore, so I’m trying to move forward slowly.
Anxiety and Depression Disorders
Post Traumatic Stress and Anxiety
The deep impact of trauma meaning through the lens of PTSD. Anxiety from PTSD is one of the worst conditions that can happen to you, especially when your mind is blocking the event that started it all. You know something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on why. In my opinion, anxiety is one of the hardest disorders to at least gain control over.
I’ve done a lot of work on myself to get where I am today with anxiety, but it still pops up everyday. I take Klonopin for it, and my body has started to get used to the med, so it’s less effective. I need to take more to control the anxiety. That’s why it’s a short-term med.
I don’t know what to do. Should I try to switch to another med that might not work as well? All I want is not to feel like I’m not going to “crawl out of my skin” from anxiety. I’ve also been sleeping much better. It’s a shame Klonopin is a short-term med, because it works so well.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression
Depression from PTSD is also difficult to overcome, because the trauma keeps replaying itself in your head. You can’t get away from it. You become dismayed and resigned to that is how your life will be. I’m on the opposite end of that, I refuse to believe “that’s how life will be.”
A few years back, I thought the latter, but not now. Life has to get better and better, and not just settle for “well, that’s how it’s going to be.” Depression is not something you have to “accept.” It is something you work through. First, you have to make peace with the trauma. Or, at least try to work through it.
I’m still so pissed at my teacher for what she did to me, but I’m learning little by little to let it go. I don’t need it to run my life for the rest of my life. I don’t understand why she did it, nor do I need to know why to move on. Yes, it has been affecting my life up until this point, but now I can forgive her.
PTSD Anxiety Attack
The deep impact of trauma meaning through the lens of PTSD. Anxiety attacks from PTSD are like reliving the trauma over and over again. It’s like it’s haunting you. Individuals who have been in war know this. All the death and dying can impact them in ways no one should have to go through. War can break a person’s psyche, just like that if they’re not strong enough.
Anxiety attacks in general are one of the worse feelings in the world, especially because they can hit at any moment. While you’re in the store, sleeping, or in front of family members. Mine usually happen when I’m in the store, because I’m around a lot of people. Just like my teacher traumatized me in front of my peers.
I used to ask the question “why me God.” I now know the answer is “I didn’t put anything on your plate that I didn’t think you could handle.” It may have taken me many years to realize that until later, but I did. That’s all that matters. Now, by far, I’m not a religious person, but I believe in a higher essence, because he saved my life on my last suicide attempt. I could have easily been a statistic, but I wasn’t.
Is PTSD Curable?
I don’t know if PTSD is curable, but you can learn to live with it. You’ll always have that trauma in your memory, but you don’t have to let it dictate your life. As I write this post, I notice a sense of calm demeanor over me. Almost like lifting a cloud hanging over my head. Strange.
Just know that you have the power to make peace with your traumas. Don’t let them run your life, because that’s not how you were meant to live. Yes, tragedy struck, but learn to work through it, and not sweep it under the rug. It will become bigger the more you ignore it. And then one day, it explodes like a volcano.
I’ve been in that scenario, and others look at you differently after that. They wonder if they will ever trust you again. I’m talking about the suicide attempt. I had to start my life over. I had to earn people’s trust again, and that was hard. The look in their eyes was enough for me to never become remotely that low ever again.
Sum It All Up
The deep impact of trauma meaning through the lens of PTSD. The trauma is the mechanism that starts the PTSD ball rolling. If you don’t deal with it head-on, it’s going to resurface later in life. If you keep shoving it down, it gets bigger and gains momentum, until one day it explodes. Then, what are you left with? Scattered pieces of your life. What once was whole is now fragmented.
You try to pick up the pieces, but there are some pieces you’ll never find. So, you have to be creative, and invent new pieces (or memories). Just make sure these memories will sustain you throughout your life, so you don’t have to pick up pieces again.
Trauma in itself can be detrimental, or you can learn and grow from it. I made the choice to learn and grow from it. Some people aren’t so lucky. They’re stuck in this vortex of the past and the present. Reliving the past so it affects their current state of mind. Again, going back to war veterans. They see things that no one should see. Some of them get caught in that vortex of living that moment over and over.
So, if you know or even see one, go up to them and give them a great big hug and say thanks. You might surprise them, but I’m sure they won’t feel so alone anymore. Peace and always love. Until next time…
Articles About Trauma and PTSD
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
What can I do to recover from PTSD on my own?
Traumatic Events and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Have a Good One,
Cindee Murphy
“One voice doing OK with PTSD”
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating the change you do choose.” – Michelle Rosenthal
“It’s okay to be a glowstick. Sometimes we have to break before we shine.” – Unknown
“Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated, the silent screams continue internally, heard only by the one held captive.” – Danielle Bernock
“You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender.” – John Mark Green
“Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.” – Bessel van der Kolk
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