Social anxiety ruins a lot of friendships because people don’t understand it if they haven’t experienced it. I call people with social anxiety “socially awkward people.” You can have social anxiety even with close friends. It’s a debilitating experience. For the most part, you worry about EVERYTHING. You’re afraid of social interactions with anybody.
Friendships really stand the test of time when social anxiety is involved. If they truly love you, they will stick with you until the end. The trick is to rewire your brain into thinking like the way you were before the anxiety took over. You can do it, I know you can. It just takes practice to get back at that level. And your true friends will be there right by your side!
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”– Albert Einstein
Social Anxiety and Making Friends
Having social anxiety and making new friends do not mix well together. When I feel like I’m ready, I will attempt to make new friends. But for now, I’m content even though I spend most of the time in my room typing away on the laptop. I guess you could say, my laptop is my best friend. I know, that sounds stupid, but it’s my window to the world. I’m connecting with other people on social media.
Most of my life, I’ve had problems making friends because of my extreme shyness. I was always the kid that had a sign that might as well have said “bully me.” Once I graduated and became distant from the other classmates, I began a journey of finding my true self and some different friends along the way. But that didn’t last long, now I’m back to no friends. That’s because I’ve isolated myself so much, I rarely talk to anybody (even family). I still have goals though that I’ve set for myself and one day I’ll get there (maybe with a few new friends). You just have to believe!
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard
Anxiety About Losing Friendships
Stop having anxiety about losing friendships. If they’re true friends, you have nothing to worry about. They’ll be there for you through thick and thin (anxiety, no anxiety). Although, you’re going down the wrong road if you’re worrying about losing friends. That is one way to loose a friendship.
For social anxiety, you have to slowly acclimate yourself with being around people. I’ll make up something that I need from the store and go there. Even though I only spend 5 minutes in the store, I’m slowly getting used to being around people again. Although, sometimes those 5 minutes are rough, I still do it. I know, in the long run, it’s going to pay off.
“Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.” — Kobe Bryant
No Friends Because of Social Anxiety
Yes, I don’t have any friends because of social anxiety. I have trouble interacting with other people. That doesn’t mean that I can’t have a meaningful friendship. You’re supposed to accept the person’s good quality along with their faults. I say if it’s a one-sided friendship where you’re doing all the sharing, then get rid of them (I did). I’d rather have no friends than fake friends. All they really do is use you anyway.
Now, I may sound mean (I’m far from it), but I believe friendship is a two-way street. Sometimes, you may need more help because of the social anxiety. Friendship is about giving and taking when needed and not just a one-way street. I am really tired of people using me. No, change that, I’m mad about people using me when they see fit.
“Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.” — Celine Dion
My Friends Anxiety Is Ruining Our Friendship
“My friends anxiety is ruining our friendship.” It’s not much of a friendship if you have to question it. I know having anxiety is bad, I get it, but you’re not much of a friend when you let something like anxiety come between you two. You might never find out how much of your friendship could withstand in the end.
I was experiencing social anxiety when I was younger. I had one friend (so I thought) whom I grew up with. In school, I was always bullied. Then, one day, it happened on the school bus after school. I looked at her pleading for her to help me and she said no. Even as a child, I found out who my real friends were. Needless to say, I don’t talk to her anymore. Don’t care to after that!
“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” — Helen Keller
Conclusion
I will say one thing, if you loose friends over social anxiety, then they don’t deserve to have you has a friend. Friends are supposed to stick by you through the good and the bad. If they can’t handle your awkwardness, then I say goodbye! They’re not worth getting to know (or keep as a friend). Even if you have social anxiety with close friends, they should help you through it and not walk away from the friendship.
Remember, if you have friendship anxiety, share with that friend your thoughts and feelings. They might understand you better or where you’re coming from. If you keep it bottled up inside, it’s just going to explode at one point or another. Do the exposure thing a little bit at a time. Soon, you’ll be back to your old self again (or a better version).
I may sound cynical (don’t mean to), but I’m just soooo tired of letting people walk all over me. No more! I speak my mind when I need to and when it’s appropriate. Well, I hope there is something in this post that resonates with you and I’ll connect with you in the next post. Until then…
Articles
-What is friendship anxiety and why is everyone talking about it?
https://mashable.com/article/friendship-anxiety
-Anxiety and panic attacks
-Fixing Friendship Anxiety
https://idontmind.com/friendship-anxiety
Have a Good One,
Cindee Murphy, One Voice – Unstoppable
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”— Lao-Tze
Leave a Reply