Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Women

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) in women is a personality disorder characterized by grandiosity, entitlement, and an excessive need for external validation. In general, typical NPD symptoms may display differently and less severely in women, making it harder to detect them. While female narcissists are less common than male narcissists, they possess some tell-tale traits that can be used to identify them.

It is believed that the prevalence of NPD may be higher in women than men, with an estimated 1-6% of the population being affected. In sum, female narcissists may exploit others for personal gain, be arrogant and envious of others’ successes. Also they may feel entitled to superiority. Furthermore, they are hypersensitive to criticism or rejection.

10 Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Women

Research on the differences between male and female narcissists suggests that NPD traits in women are fewer in number and less severe. Specifically, female narcissists are less entitled, impulsive, aggressive, and more empathetic than males diagnosed with NPD. Female narcissists also may display certain distinct traits such as a preoccupation with their appearance or being more prone to envy and jealousy than males.

Below 10 common female narcissistic traits:

Being Self-Centered or Self-Absorbed
Self-centeredness is a hallmark sign of NPD in both men and women. In effect, a female narcissist may spend a lot of time talking about herself and her life, without thinking to ask how others are doing. When people do interject to talk about themselves, the female narcissist may show little interest, and quickly turn the conversation back to herself.
Never Admitting Fault
Another telltale sign of narcissism is never admitting fault or apologizing. Instead they find ways to project blame outwards onto other people or situations. For example, narcissistic women will often deflect blame by making excuses for their mistakes. Also, they find ways to twist the situation and paint someone else as the bad guy.
Pettiness & Inability to See the Bigger Picture
In general, narcissistic women can have a tendency to be petty. They often get stuck on small details or perceived wrongdoings of other people, even when they don’t really matter. For instance, a female narcissist may be unable to stop obsessing over the smallest criticism or slight. Also, they may even become hyper focused on getting revenge. In short, this inability to let go of small grievances can become problematic for the narcissistic woman, making her seem jealous, petty, and bitter to others.
Obsession With Social Status
Being shallow or superficial is a common trait in both male and female narcissists. Basically, in women with NPD, this might show up as a tendency to be overly materialistic or preoccupied with brand name, luxury items or other status symbols associated with being wealthy. Other times, this may include excessive concern about social status, reputation, social media, or appearances.
Addicted to Social Media
All narcissists are self-absorbed, but this can be exhibited differently in female narcissists than in males. In other words, women with NPD may be more likely to get wrapped up in social media, post selfies, and become obsessed with getting likes and followers online. In similar fashion, some may even be addicted to social media. They may be unable to pull themselves away from the virtual realities they’ve created online.
Exploitative of Others
Narcissists are known to exploit other people for personal gain or self-serving interests, but men and women may have opposing ways of doing so. For example, women with NPD will often use manipulative or passive aggressive behaviors to fulfill their needs, while narcissistic men may use force, intimidation, or physical aggression.
Being Overly Vain
While both men and women with NPD are prone to vanity, research shows that women with NPD are more likely to be preoccupied with physical appearance. Also, women with NPD may be more sensitive to criticisms about their physical appearance, weight, or attractiveness than men with the disorder. In particular, narcissism in women may lead to excessive cosmetic procedures, extreme dieting, or an unhealthy obsession with appearance or weight.
Using Sex Appeal to Coerce
Subsequently, women with NPD may be more likely to capitalize on their sex appeal or physical attractiveness. Recent studies have found that many female narcissists dress in sexually provocative ways–like dressing in revealing clothing or wearing a lot of makeup. In the same fashion, some may use sexual seduction as a way to manipulate or financially exploit others, or engage in sexual narcissism. In time, they may even become involved in sexual relationships with people who can support or help them in some way.
Seeming Insecure, Shy, or Reserved
Women with NPD are more likely to display signs of covert narcissism, experiencing traits that differ from the stereotypical portrayals of narcissism. On the whole, a covert narcissist may not seem arrogant, grandiose, or entitled. Instead they may present as shy, quiet, and even insecure. When insecurity and low self-esteem are coupled with other signs and traits of narcissism, this often indicates covert narcissism.
Sensitive & Reactive
Female narcissists are often more emotional than their male counterparts, which also makes them more likely to be sensitive and reactive. While all narcissists tend to be sensitive to criticism, female narcissists may be more prone to being hurt, offended, or upset by others. Of course this can also make them more likely to lash out, become moody or emotional, or shut down when upset.

Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

For now, the main contributing factors to NPD seem to be:

Genetics. People with NPD are more likely to have parents or close relatives with it.
Observation and imitation. Equally, children can observe, imitate and learn traits and behaviors that can develop into NPD.
Negative childhood experiences. There may be a link between negative childhood experiences. Therefore, trauma, rejection, neglect and lack of support during childhood can all contribute to developing narcissistic traits.
Parenting style. Overindulging children and overprotective or “helicopter” parenting may lead to a child who grows to expect and demand the same treatment they received from parents or parental figures. It may also keep your child from learning to regulate their own feelings and emotions, which can contribute to trouble controlling emotions when things don’t go their way.
Culture. Research indicates that the culture you grow up in can influence your risk of developing NPD. The risk seems to be higher in cultures where individualism and personal independence are more encouraged. At length, people who grow up in cultures that encourage a sense of community and collective action are less likely to develop NPD.

How to Deal With a Narcissistic Woman

Dealing with a narcissist is often difficult and stressful, so having some tips on ways to interact with these challenging personalities can help. Even if you have a female narcissist in your life, there are some methods to try that can protect your mental health, as well as provide some distance from any toxicity.

Here are some tips for dealing with a narcissistic woman:

Learn her patterns: By all means, narcissists use different patterns and tactics to manipulate and coerce other people. Paying attention to the specific tactics she uses (i.e. playing the victim, guilt trips, etc.) can help you quickly identify when she’s up to something.

Check your expectations: Furthermore, Narcissists are often incapable of being emotionally mature, genuine, and selfless. By keeping your expectations of a female narcissist realistic, you can avoid the frustrating ups and downs that come with being constantly let down, disappointed, or blindsided by her.

Limit your interactions: Moreover, limiting how often and how much you interact with a female narcissist is also a good idea, and can prevent you from getting too close, becoming a target, or getting wrapped up in her drama.

Keep things superficial: It’s also a good idea to keep your interactions with female narcissists friendly, but superficial. Giving her lots of personal information is a bad idea, as she might use it against you later on.

Don’t fall for her act: Likewise, female narcissists can be charming, seductive, and skilled at getting people to believe them. Keep a safe distance and remind yourself of her tactics (like narcissistic gaslighting, love bombing, etc.) to avoid being fooled by them.

Don’t feed into her need for validation: Regardless, narcissists rely on external validation (aka narcissistic supply) to feel good about themselves, so giving them too much attention, praise, or validation can make you a target.

Don’t threaten her self-esteem: In brief, female narcissists are often highly sensitive to any criticism or perceived slight, as it threatens her fragile self-esteem. When possible, avoid criticizing, threatening, or challenging her to lower the chances of becoming a target of her narcissistic rage.

Refuse to compete with her: Narcissistic women can be highly competitive, but it usually isn’t a good idea to play this game with her. In this case, doing so makes it more likely that you’ll be seen as a threat, and susceptible to additional abuse.

Try to find win-win solutions: Overall, win-win solutions are ones where no one ‘loses’, and are often the best way to negotiate with a narcissistic female, without risking a narcissistic injury that could trigger abusive behavior.

Keep your cool: Narcissistic women can be difficult and frustrating to interact with, but losing your cool only places more power and control in her hands. In a word, letting her upset you gives her more knowledge about how she can pull your strings and set you off in the future. Avoid giving her this upper hand.

Treatment For Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Women

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder in women is talk therapy, also called psychotherapy. Medicines may be included in your treatment if you have other mental health conditions, such as depression.

Psychotherapy

In brief, narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around psychotherapy. Psychotherapy can help you:

Learn to relate better with others so your relationships are closer, more enjoyable and more rewarding.
Also, understand the causes of your emotions and what drives you to compete, to distrust others, and to dislike others and possibly yourself.

The focus is to help you accept responsibility and learn to

Firstly, accept and maintain real personal relationships and work together with co-workers.
Recognize and accept your actual abilities, skills and potential so you can tolerate criticism or failures.
Additionally, increase your ability to understand and manage your feelings.
Understand and learn how to handle issues related to your self-esteem.
Lastly, learn to set and accept goals that you can reach instead of wanting goals that are not realistic.

Therapy can be short term to help you manage during times of stress or crisis. Therapy also can be provided on an ongoing basis to help you achieve and maintain your goals. Often, including family members or others in therapy can be helpful.

Conclusion

Manipulative tendencies, passive aggression, hypersensitivity to criticism, and shallowness or vanity are all more common signs of NPD in women. Therefore, if you notice some of these traits and tendencies, it might be a good idea to take precautions and distance yourself from these individuals to avoid being deceived, manipulated, or exploited.

According to a National Institutes of Health study, approximately 6.2% of women have been diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder.

Although these figures may not accurately reflect all cases due to a lack of awareness or access to mental health services, many individuals likely remain undiagnosed.