Haunted By Silence:The Mental Toll of the Socially Isolated

Haunted by silence:the mental toll of the socially isolated is inevitable. What is the impact of isolation? I’ve always been a loner since childhood. Since I was extremely shy, I never fit in anywhere, especially in school.

I was bullied to no end and used by so-called friends. What a lovely childhood! So, what is the impact, I became very much an introvert.

I rely solely on myself. I don’t need anyone else. Therefore, I believe I can’t depend on anyone else. In the end, they just let you down. Call it what you will, I don’t care.

Accordingly, the social isolation definition is a state of having few or no social contacts, or lack of engagement with others.

It can also mean having a lack of fulfilling relationships or a sense of belonging. I never belonged anywhere, I was always thrown out in left field, out in the middle of nowhere.

Social Isolation Causes

Social isolation can arise from a variety of factors, including:

Health Issues: At length, chronic illnesses, disabilities, or mental health conditions can make it difficult for individuals to engage socially.
Social Anxiety: Individuals with social anxiety disorder may avoid social situations, leading to increased isolation.
Personality Traits: Concurrently, introverted individuals may naturally prefer solitude and find social interactions draining, leading to isolation.
Stigma and Discrimination: Individuals from marginalized groups may face discrimination, leading to social exclusion and isolation.
Family Dynamics: Undoubtedly, unstable family relationships or lack of support can contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Mental Health Issues: Conditions such as depression can lead to withdrawal from social interactions.
Workplace Environment: Comparatively, a toxic or unsupportive work culture can contribute to feelings of isolation among employees.
Global Events: Situations like pandemics or natural disasters can force individuals into isolation, disrupting social connections.

I have social anxiety, so I avoid social situations at all costs. I go to my appointments and to the store when I’m feeling lucky, but otherwise, I stay in my room.

Childhood Social Isolation

Haunted by silence:the mental toll of the socially isolated is drastic. My childhood was socially enept because of bullying, especially when it started with my first grade teacher. She would lift me out of my desk by pulling up on my hair.

She did it over and over again for two years (she held me back for a second year). No wonder I’m so screwed up. Then the other students started bullying me also.

So that is why I am such a loner and why I don’t want to deal with anyone if I don’t have to. I would come home from school crying and my mom couldn’t figure out why.

It is with sincere gratitude to know that I’m not the only one who is screwed up. The two other people I live with have more of a screwed up life than mine.

Sorry, just had to throw that out there because of what is happening right now. So my life is a picnic on a sunny day compared to their lives.

Social Withdrawal Depression

I guess you could say I’m in a depression once again now that the anxiety is back. Those were three wonderful weeks.Thus, back to social withdrawal.

I just listen to my music with my earbuds and tune out everything that goes on around here. It’s just easier that way.

Music expresses so much for me when I can’t form the thoughts or words myself. Which is usually when I’m in a brain fog, like right now.

I socially withdrawal because at times, I just don’t know how to communicate with people. It’s ebarrassing. I act like that shy kid stuck in the corner of the classroom.

When the brain fog lifts, I’m somewhat sociable, but when it’s there, forget it. I just don’t know how to have a conversation or start one.

Loneliness Impact on Health

Haunted by silence:the mental toll of the socially isolated also affects physical health. I’d say loneliness has had an impact on my health.

But so has Parkinson’s. The two go hand in hand. Loneliness-mentally and Parkinson’s-mentally and physically.

I actually miss going to work and talking to people there. I actually crave for conversation and friendships. Hence, I worked at a job for 13 years and liked everyone I worked with.

Well, most everyone. I really liked working there and became friends with several of the people there. Consequently, I even joined a bowling team with my boss.

And then my mood began to change. I was angry all the time. Emphatically, I would whip the ball down the alley into the gutter because I didn’t care about anything.

I humiliated myself in front of my league each week. I was so depressed, but angry at the same time. Back then, I didn’t understand why, but I do now.

Why Am I Socially Isolating Myself?

I was angry because depression was setting in and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was losing all of my friends and I didn’t know why.

After quitting the league, that’s when I started socially isolating myself. I didn’t want to deal with those feelings again even though they were still with me.

So I internalized them. Wrong frickin move. It made things ten times worse. I was dealing with a husband who was abusive and no med in the world could save me.

Then I became suicidal. When I got a divorce from my husband, it took a while, but I slowly started to “wake up.” I started noticing things that made me smile.

Then the delusions started in and I fell backwards again. I started socially isolating again. Here I am today, isolating, but slowly again, coming out of it.

What Happens if You Socially Isolate Yourself For Too Long?

Haunted by silence:the mental toll of the socially isolated is worse if you do it for a long time.

I would think you would be living in your own little world. You’d forget how to socially communicate with others. Besides, it would be an awfully lonely experience.

If you do decide to come out of socially isolating, do it slowly. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself that it’s too much and you crawl back in your hole again.

Also, if you isolate for too long, the world will just pass you by. No one’s gonna care unless you start to. You have to take the initiative.

Hence, dig deep down and find the courage (i know you have) to peak your head out of that hole. If you deem it’s safe, crawl all the way out and live your life like you were meant to.

Why Do Introverts Isolate Themselves?

Being an introvert myself, we are scared of certain situations. Likewise, just talking to someone can scare them off. It used to with me.

It’s easier to isolate and think that’s the way out, then to talk to someone. I became an introvert because of all of the bullying. I thought there was something wrong with me.

And, it just escalated all throughout my life. I guess I’m isolating nowadays because of the anxiety and the movements from Parkinson’s. Can’t forget, the delusion’s.

That will always haunt me no matter what I do. And they can occur at any time at any place. Therefrore, I can’t control it like some of the other aspects of my life.

Living In Isolation

Haunted by silence:the mental toll of the socially isolated is hard to stop when it feels comfortable.

I’m not living in complete isolation like I did when I was living by myself. I still talk to everyone in the house. Plus, I make an effort to go out every once in a while.

When I was living in isolation, I wouldn’t even dare step a foot outside. I had enough food to last me a while eventhough I really wasn’t eating.

During this period, I actually made the decision to move, hoping that would change my mood. Wrong again. Everything including the delusions continued.

Living in isolation is not the answer to your problems. However, even though I somewhat continue to do it, I still try to expose myself litle by little to those fears.

Overcoming Social Isolation

Exposure Therapy

How do you overcome social isolation? Very slowly. As I have said earlier, exposure therapy works wonders for this. At least that’s how I’m accomplishing it.

When I go to the store, I allow myself so much time in the store and then I leave with the groceries. I keep expanding that time until I will be able to do “normal” shopping.

Right now I’m in the store 15 minutes. While I’m there, I at least talk to one person. Usually, it’s a total stranger, which is even better.

Or I try to help at least one person if I see that they need help. Therefore, it makes me feel good about myself and they get the help that they didn’t even ask for.

Sum It All Up

Haunted by silence:the mental toll of the socially isolated is devastating for those that continue to isolate.

So, social isolating isn’t the best route to go when your having problems in your life. It becomes a coping mechanism and makes how you feel worse.

I didn’t think I’d ever get out of this rabbit hole I put myself in, but through exposure therapy, it’s slowly coming together.

So, if you’re in that hole and don’t know how, but want to get out, try exposure therapy. It’s like facing your fears at your own pace.

Soon you’ll be where I’m at. Not quite there, but making progress through small steps. Thus, I wish you all the best and looking forward to speaking with you. Until next time…

faceless woman with cardboard box on head against pond

Articles About Isolating Socially

-Are You Socially Isolated? Learn the Signs and How to Get Support

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/social-isolation-symptoms

-Understanding the Effects of Social Isolation on Mental Health

https://publichealth.tulane.edu/blog/effects-of-social-isolation-on-mental-health/

-Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness

https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/risk-factors/index.html

Have a Good One,

Cindee Murphy
“One Voice Slowly Coming Out Of Isolation”

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone”-Orson Welles

“The worst thing someone gets is isolated. Isolation is the darkest part of any condition.”-Annie Lennox

“We don’t function well as human beings when we’re in isolation.”-Robert Zemeckis

“I think, if you have enough inner resources, then you can live in isolation for long periods of time and not feel diminished by it.”–Aung San Suu Kyi

“We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Everything in-between is a gift.”-Yul Brynner