From Rock Bottom to Rebuilding: The Stages of Depression

As I went through the stages of depression, I felt powerless. I felt like I had no control over my life. Is depression normal? Depression is normal until it starts to affect your everyday life. When you just can’t seem to get out of bed in the morning, or there is a profound sadness constantly hanging over your head. That’s not normal.

My depression is under control because of meds I’m on. I wholeheartedly think it would show its ugly head if I stopped taking them. I’m not particularly fond of taking meds, but they are working. I’ve turned into a holistic person, because herbs rarely have side effects.

Clinical depression, or major depressive disorder (MDD), is a serious mental health condition marked by persistent sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities. Unlike occasional sadness, it deeply affects daily life, including work, sleep, eating, and relationships.

Depression Symptoms

The symptoms of depression can vary from person to person, but they generally involve emotional, physical, and behavioral changes that persist for at least two weeks. Here are the most common symptoms:

Emotional Symptoms

Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed (anhedonia)
Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or self-blame
Irritability, frustration, or anger, even over small matters
Difficulty feeling joy or emotional connection

Cognitive Symptoms

Trouble concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions
Negative or intrusive thoughts
Recurrent thoughts of death, dying, or suicide

Physical Symptoms

Fatigue or lack of energy, even after adequate rest
Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or oversleeping)
Changes in appetite or weight (significant increase or decrease)
Physical aches or pains, headaches, or digestive issues without a clear medical cause
Slowed speech or movements (psychomotor retardation) or restlessness (psychomotor agitation)

Behavioral Symptoms

Withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities
Neglecting responsibilities at work, school, or home
Loss of motivation to engage in daily tasks
Increased use of alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism

Stages of Depression

The stages of depression can look different depending on the model you follow, but they’re often understood as emotional and psychological phases that people go through. Here’s a simple breakdown:

Denial or Ignorance

At this point, people might not fully realize or acknowledge that they’re feeling sad or experiencing changes in their mood. They could brush off these feelings as temporary or unrelated to something like depression.

Anger or Frustration

You might feel irritable, frustrated, or even angry at times, whether it’s directed at yourself or others. This often happens when it’s hard to manage emotions or control certain situations.

Bargaining

People might try to make sense of their feelings or bargain with themselves, thinking, “If I just do this, I’ll feel better.”

Sadness or Hopelessness

This is often the most familiar stage, where feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and low self-worth can take over. It might also involve pulling back from social activities and spending less time with loved ones.

Crisis or Rock Bottom

This stage can bring intense emotional pain, feelings of despair, or even thoughts of self-harm. It’s often the moment when people recognize it’s time to reach out for support.

Acceptance and Seeking Help

At this point, people start to recognize their depression and might look for support through therapy, medication, or even lifestyle changes.

Recovery and Healing

With the right support and care, people can start to rebuild their lives, find hope again, and learn ways to manage their mental health.

It’s good to remember that not everyone experiences depression in the same way—these stages can overlap or even repeat.

Sudden Onset Depression

Sudden Onset Depression refers to a rapid and unexpected development of depressive symptoms, often without a clear or gradual buildup. Unlike typical depression, which may develop over weeks or months, sudden onset depression can appear abruptly, sometimes within days. This can be particularly distressing because the individual may not understand why they are feeling this way.

Possible Causes of Sudden Onset Depression

Traumatic Events: A sudden life event, such as the loss of a loved one, a breakup, job loss, or traumatic experience, can trigger depression.
Medical Conditions: Certain medical issues, such as thyroid disorders, hormonal imbalances, chronic illnesses, or neurological conditions, can lead to sudden depressive symptoms.
Brain Chemistry Changes: Sudden changes in brain chemistry, possibly due to stress or other factors, can lead to depressive symptoms.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): A sudden change in seasons, particularly moving into winter with less sunlight, can trigger depression in some individuals.
Psychological Factors: Repressed emotions, unresolved trauma, or sudden overwhelming stress can contribute to a rapid onset of depression.

Symptoms of Sudden Onset Depression

The symptoms are similar to those of major depressive disorder but appear abruptly:

Intense sadness or hopelessness
Loss of interest in activities
Fatigue or low energy
Difficulty concentrating
Changes in sleep or appetite
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

How Long Does Depression Last?

The duration of stages of depression can vary widely, depending on the type of depression, its severity, and whether it is treated. Here’s a breakdown of how long depression might last:

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Untreated: A single episode of major depression can last 6 months to a year or longer if left untreated.
Treated: With proper treatment (therapy, medication, or both), many people start to feel better within 6-12 weeks, though full recovery may take longer.

Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD)

Also known as dysthymia, this is a chronic form of depression.
Symptoms are less severe than MDD but last for 2 years or more (in adults) or 1 year or more (in children and teens).
Treatment can help reduce the duration and severity of symptoms.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

This type of depression is tied to seasonal changes, typically occurring in the fall and winter months.
Symptoms usually improve in the spring and summer, lasting 4-5 months on average.

Depression in Bipolar Disorder

Depressive episodes in bipolar disorder can last weeks to months, depending on the individual and the type of bipolar disorder (Bipolar I or II).
Treatment is essential to manage these episodes effectively.

Factors That Influence Duration

Treatment: Therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes can significantly shorten the duration of depression.
Severity: Severe depression may take longer to resolve than mild or moderate cases.
Support System: A strong support network can help speed up recovery.
Underlying Causes: If depression is caused by a medical condition or substance use, addressing the root cause is crucial for recovery.

Overcoming depression

Getting the depression under control is the first part of overcoming it, whether it be with meds or therapy. But there are other coping mechanisms you can utillize. Here are a few:

Try not to isolate yourself

Going through the stages of depression, don’t do what I did, and isolate yourself. It’s a lonely, dismal place to be. Surround yourself with family and friends. I isolated for so long, I forgot what it was like to live. There is so much more in this world to enjoy and relish. Isolating yourself puts you further from seeing the bright blue sky while you’re in that hole.

Do something that makes you laugh

I like to watch comedy movies, or comedians in general. Nothing beats depression like laughter, even at the moment you don’t think you can laugh. You’d be surprised! Laughter is the one thing that brings us together. No matter how dark your life seems, there’s always room for improvement. Laughter is that improvement.

Practice the art of gratitude

Practicing the art of gratitude gives you the positive side of life, instead of all the negative that depression brings. It can be small things, like acknowledging the sun shining, petting your dog or cat, or the fact that you got out of bed in the morning. Always look at the smaller stuff, which gradually builds upon itself, to make you appreciate more and more.

Forgive yourself for feeling this way

We are so hard on ourselves when we are depressed. Give yourself a break! Things aren’t always going to go your way, you just have to pivot and walk down another path. So, you fell into the depths of depression, pull up your britches and climb your way out of that hole. You can forgive yourself, just don’t throw a pity party.

Step out into the sunlight

Sunlight is the best natural medicine for you. Come out of that cave of isolation and walk into the sunlight. Spending time outside will give you a boost, like you’ve never felt before. Spend as much time as possible. I guarantee you the uplift will be instantaneous. Nature has a way of doing that.

Keep a list of your strengths and wins

Write down your strengths and wins, this will help give you positive reinforcement. At first, it might be difficult, but once you write down the first one, the others will follow. I know for me, I just sat there trying to think about one good thing about myself. Once I wrote down one thing, it gradually became easier. Same for the wins, even with a small victory, I wrote it down and then more followed.

Feel

I won’t lie, this was a difficult one for me. I didn’t want to feel, because I didn’t want to hurt anymore. Therefore, I promise you, after you go through the stages of depression, there is hope and peace of mind on the other side. Don’t just shut your feelings off, that’s not how you overcome depression. You have to experience the different feelings that come up, deal with them, and then move on to the next one. As you move along, you’ll find it gets easier.

Inner child healing work

I have to work on that inner child who was physically and emotionally abused by her first grade teacher and peers in school. So, I haven’t quite mastered this one yet. I’m working on forgiving those who bullied me in school. This is probably one of the more difficult coping skills to master, because it may be deeply rooted. You may have so much anger that it is hard to work through. Or you just might be afraid of it. Either way, keep plugging away at it.

Work on your boundaries

As you go through the stages of depression, work on your boundaries can help manage depression, because they provide structure and stability in your life. There are certain boundaries you need in your life. These include physical, emotional, and social boundaries.

Physical boundaries

Physical boundaries are about your personal space and limits. It could mean not allowing others to touch you without permission or deciding how much time to spend in certain places. It’s all about what feels comfortable!

Emotional boundaries

Emotional boundaries are about looking after your feelings and emotions. It’s about knowing when to say no if something makes you uncomfortable, and giving yourself the space to take a break when you need it.

Social Boundaries

Social boundaries are about our relationships with others. Setting healthy boundaries is key to positive interactions—being clear about what we need, expecting respect, and knowing when to say no. It’s about creating balance in our connections!

Sum It All Up

Working on the depression requires courage in itself. If you’re at the bottom, there is only one way to go. You need to go through the stages of depression, not necessarily in any order, and some you may do again. You need a strategy on how to do it, hence the coping skills. There are some that I have worked on, and some that I’m still dealing with.

The strategies listed above aren’t set in stone. There are so many possibilities in becoming your true self again. Experiencing depression doesn’t mean you’ll have it the rest of your life. I used to think that was all life was ever going to be, until I started trusting my thought processes again. I stopped doubting myself and playing devil’s advocate.

The change won’t happen overnight, but it will happen if you believe in yourself. So, start climbing little by little out of that hole. Once you reach the top, look up into the blue sky and say thank you! Peace and always love. Until next time…